Hello, Goodbye

08: Grace

{ unedited }

“You’ve grown up.” She replays the sentence in her head. Her dreams are flooded with an image of him, only him. His battered face, his emotionless eyes. The patched up gunshot wound on his shoulder. His croaky voice and small smile. A small smile used with caution. Anthony didn’t say much, he just looked down at his feet, scared and lost. Grace knows how he feels. She wakes up easily to the sound of sizzling.

“Mum?” she mumbles as she exits their shared bedroom. She almost trips over the mattress on the ground in the lounge area. Her father’s mattress. She rubs the sleep from her eyes and stretches out her arms. The cool air blows in around her, so she pulls herself tighter into her jumper. The focus of her eyes is still blurry but she knows for sure that it is not her mother cooking. “Totoro..?” she mutters, still slightly dazed.

“Don’t call me that, Grace,” he says quietly as she comes closer. He flips the bacon, the smell of fried pig filling the air.

“How are you, Anthony?” she says after clearing her throat. She attempts to make herself look older but she has a childish expression on her features. My big brother is back.

“I’m fine.” His hand automatically runs to the fist-sized bruise on his jaw. He touches it and then he feels Grace’s small, warm hand on top of his. “Grace,” he whispers. She pushes his hand away gently. She drags her finger lightly along the bruise, then around it.

“Who..? Dad? It was dad, wasn’t it?” she asks, her voice returning to a whisper. “It looks bad. You should’ve gotten ice on it straight away.”

“It was at the airport, Grace, it was an accident. You know dad – if it was on purpose, he would’ve broken my jaw.” Anthony manages a small smile as he pulls his sister into a tight hug. They breathe each other in, the familiarity of their bodies locking into each other’s making both of them smile. He hears sizzling and they pull away. He returns to cooking.

“Thank you for cooking, Anthony. Mum never does.” He nods.

“Where is she, anyway? I checked your room when I opened the door, she wasn’t there.” He motions to the office space. “She’s not there.”

“She’s been looking for new office spaces, I think. She doesn’t really tell me much. Or she’s with a client, I don’t know. I’m sort of in the dark about everything related to her.” He nods. “What about dad, where’s he gone?” He lets go of the pan handle and grabs a small piece of paper.

“Please take good care of our children,” he begins, reading in a quiet tone, “I’m sorry but I can’t no longer – he’s still not very good at English – keep Anthony safe. I will try to pays child support – see? – but there is no guarantee. I hope you can keep them very safes and healthy. I will try to fix situation I am in. I very sorry.”

“His English still sucks,” Grace mutters in an attempt to make playful humour. Anthony nods. “So he just left, just like that?” Anthony nods, eyes downcast. “Because of –”

“Yes. But we can’t talk about it because mum doesn’t know. She just knows he’s not in the best situation right now. They talked last night but he only figured last night that he should leave.” He lets out a small sigh. Grace asks him is he is happy. “I suppose it’s a bit of a relief. He’s gone, you know? I won’t have to hide from gangs anymore. I won’t have to ask him what’s going on anymore.”

“But you’ll have to ask mum. She does things and never tells me why. She does things which affect our family and she never tells me why.”

“Hey, we need to stop thinking of the bad and just remember that we are together now. We have each other for the first time in…how long has it been, kiddo?” He smiles and ruffles her hair. “Totoro. I don’t want to hear it again. We need to start again. Hi, Miss Grace Makati, I’m Anthony. Anthony Makati.” He holds out his hand but Grace declines, shaking her head.