Dear Evan Hansen,
You were supposed to write letters to yourself as a therapy assignment, but you are a failure and never managed to write one. So I guess this is your first and last one. Maybe if I had written the damn letters earlier I wouldn't want to kill myself. But now it's too late. I don't want to be stopped. The taste of death is inviting me and I want it more than anything in the world.
Well Evan, they were right. All those people who called you names. Freak, creep, retard, gay... all of them true. I could blame my death on anyone, but I choose to blame it on myself.
Every day the thought of ending my life crossed my mind, and sometimes I got so close to ending it... but I never did. Not until now. I don't know why this was the final push. I didn't try to kill myself when Johnson abused me nor did I try to end life when the three boys bullied me. That's because Connor was there. When I cheated on Connor, I realized why I was so horrible and wretched. I want Connor to be mad at me. I want him to hate me and say he wishes I was never born. But Connor would never say that because Connor was too kind to hate.
Trees have always calmed me. I liked how they stood tall and powerful, even though they knew they could be cut down in one swing. Ever since I was a kid, a strong tree would make me feel brave. Now I'm ending my life with a tree. I wonder if people will look up and see where I jumped from. I wonder if anyone will say "Look! He's still there. The real Evan Hansen is up there. In the treetops."
Sincerely,
Me
YOU ARE READING
Treetops
Fanfiction(Treebros) After Evan shows up at his locker asking for his history notes, Connor starts falling in love with the anxious boy. But things get complicated when Evan's abusive dad shows up.
