The Delinquent's Daughter {An Outsiders Fanfiction - Sequel to Hope}

36

We just sat in silence for a while. I'm not really sure how long. I was in Eli's arms for a while, trying to take in what shouldn't have even been a big deal. But I wondered what my life would have been like if she had just tried to be my friend in the first place. We wouldn't be where we were now, I might have never known about Dallas. My relationship with Eli might not have been exactly where it was, but I'd still have my license. We wouldn't have run away. None of this would have happened. 

I would still have been talking to my parents, I wouldn't have had to stay at Faith's those few days before we got here. I'd still be going to prom...

I didn't exactly hold it against her, but I knew that Alexandra Valance was the cause of this. And it kind of hurt to say. I knew she was even before, but now things were different. I understood her. She was still my friends, I just didn't know what to do in that moment.

I wondered what would have happened if we had grown up together, as friends, or even if she just hadn't been so awful to me. If I had grown up not hating her, or having a reason to, if she hadn't of had a crush on me, or even if she had told me. 

"I understand if you hate me," she said after a while. Eli's arms were still around my waist, I was in his lap, but I crawled away. Faith still held Alex's hand. She didn't move it as I made my way over to hug Alex.

"How could I?" I asked her. I knew exactly how I could, and why I should, but I didn't. I was happy she had told me, I just wished things could have been different.

"I love you," she told me. I didn't know how she meant it, but I said it back. There she was, my new best friend, my old enemy. I looked around the room at the three people around me, the three best people in my life. The three best people in the world. And I thought about how I hoped to be with them forever, to stay in their lives for the rest of time. I thought about the room we sat in now, and how it should have been paradise, but it wasn't. I should have loved being with them, but there was something about the room, the place, not being home that made this all wrong. And I thought about my parents, and I thought about home, and the lives we had back in Tulsa. I thought about Faith's parents, my Uncle Soda and Emily, and how much they must have missed their little girl. And Cherry Valance, and how in her own way, she must have missed Alex too. 

Blinking back into reality, I spoke again. "We have to go," I said, loudly and out of the blue, not a minute later.

"What?" Alex asked. I stood up, started frantically grabbing my things.

"Guys," I responded immediately, wondering why they weren't also getting up. "We have to go home." Eli got up slowly, Alex followed, but Faith still sat there.

"Are you okay, Hope?" She asked me. I nodded.

"Yeah... but we can't be here any longer. We gotta get back," I told them. Eli caught me while I ran.

"Hope, we don't even know when the next train is coming. And it's late... And we've all been reported missing," he reminded me. We would instantly get caught if we went out, getting us in more trouble than I could take right now. My heart sank, knowing he was right. I looked outside, into the pitch black world, pouring down rain, and wanted to cry with the sky. I slumped down on a bed.

"First thing tomorrow, okay, Hope? We can look into trains first thing tomorrow." The sound of Faith's voice instantly calmed me, and I nodded. I didn't know how we would without getting caught, but all my mind could focus on was how bad I was at running away. We hadn't been there more than two days, and I already wanted to leave. I didn't know what I wanted anymore, whether it was my friends, or my parents, being away, like I thought I needed, or being home....

 Sinking down into the hotel bed, I knew what I needed though: my own bed.    

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It had been weeks since I had truly been home, though I had only been away for a few days since we left. As much as I wished it could be, as safe and comfortable as I felt, Faith's house wasn't home. Home was where my Mom and Dad were. But home was also the place where I had spent 16 years lied to, being told that Ponyboy Curtis was my father, and in reality that wasn't the case. Home was the place that the man who raised me yelled at my mom, fought with her, because he didn't want the child that would one day soon be my younger brother or sister. Home wasn't home anymore, no matter how much I wished it was. 

None of us had mentioned Alex coming out since it had happened, or about what she had said to me the day that started all of this, but it was all I could think about. I wondered how things would be if she had never told me about Dallas Winston, and my mind was engulfed in the thought of it as Eli, Alex, Faith and I snuck in the back of a freight train that Eli had found out was going to Tulsa early the next morning. 

I thought about if my family would be this screwed up, if I had never known. I tried to figure out how long my parents would have lied to me before telling me, if they ever would without this happening. 

I should have been thinking about getting caught by someone, or how much trouble we would all be in when we got home, how angry our parents would be, but instead I was eaten by my own anxiety in my family. I thought about how Alex had even found out about it, why her mother would tell her about Dallas Tucker Winston being my biological father, when I didn't even know myself, and nothing seemed to make sense. Eli asked me if I was okay as I sat there, Alex said I looked "off" and Faith said I seemed lost in thought. I said nothing to any of them, just thought. 

A/N: Idk if that was boring or good, but yay, they're headed home! Thoughts?