With A Full Heart

x || chapter nine

x || chapter nine

        
         Of course, I let him get to me, what else could I do to show how pathetic I get when it comes to him? If only I weren't at school and he wasn't sitting two chairs away from me I'd let out the gnarliest angry scream anyone's ever heard. It would  open up portals and leave people deaf. Even when he was doing what he promised by keeping his distance, he still got under my skin, so much. Like with every smile he was twisting the knife deeper into my heart.

I was on my feet the second those end of the day school bells rang. I slapped the finished assignment down onto the teacher's desk and ran out the door and into the jam-packed hallways.

Maya wiggles her way up beside me, smelling of syrup and those smelly pine cones your grandparents set out at Thanksgiving. She doesn't say anything, just smiles brightly as we maneuver our way outside the school and into our spot under the long spider-like branches of the sycamore tree.

"Okay," Maya says, dropping her bag down onto the ground and plopping down next to it. She pats the empty spot next to her and I happily oblige. "What's wrong? You look upset and my best friend radar is going off."

I snort, "I had dinner at Jacks house over the weekend."

"Are you serious?" She shrieks, catching the suspicious eyes of a few stragglers who had yet to leave school and go home.

"Shh, be quite!" I chuckle, "awkward isn't a strong enough word to describe that night."

Maya laughs, "that sounds horrible!"

"Oh, it so was. I mean it was nice to take a long, excruciating walk down memory lane while the boy I was secretly in love with—"

"Wait, what? I mean—you were, but—why the hell didn't I know that you were in love with Jack?"

I cringe at the sound of love and Jack together in the same sentence. "It's no big deal, I mean, I was in love with him. Past tense, May."

"But that's not just something you can brush off, Lucia. How long did you love him for?"

I shake my head, "no."

"What do you mean, no?" She asks two octaves higher.

"I really don't want to tall about him. When Jack left, I forced myself to block out all those memories. I really can't trust myself, especially with him here."

Maya lays her head down on my shoulder and sighs, "did he ever know?"

"Never," I whisper, just quite enough for the two of us to hear.