With A Full Heart

x || chapter seven

x || chapter seven

         I force myself to smile, testing out the different faces I'd wear for tonight's dinner. I push what little hatred I had for Jack deep down so I could at least semi-enjoy tonight. I didn't seem to care about Jack's opinion when I was offered to join dinner, but now, as I really thought about it, it was the one thing I cared about.

He made his dislike towards me clear, and despite the line I drew between us, I didn't want him to resent my decision. He did live next door to me, and we went to the same school, so we had to at least set a boundary. Like pity invites to dinners by step-parents I had no clue existed was a big no-no.

I move away from the mirror and step out into the hallway, the light knock on my door forcing me to slip on my boots and hurriedly move down the stairs. I pull open the door and smile, slightly.

"My mom sent me over here to get you," his eyes dragg down my body, making me feel self-conscious for the first time in forever. "She says it's polite."

"Yeah, 'course she did." I frown, stepping out and pulling the door closed behind me. Jack's hand falls on my lower back, the action making me jump. I force myself to ignore the shock of his touch, just deciding to go with it.

Both of us make our way towards his house, his hand in his front pocket by then. Without moving, Jack opens the door, inviting me in with the swing of his hand.

I turn to thank him, the shriek of an older lady cutting me off. Soft pats of feet move towards me, a smaller, more plump version of Jack wraps her arms around my body, squeezing the life out of me.

"Oh my," she says when she pulls away. Eyes bright as always. "You are so beautiful!"

I laugh at the almost teen-like quality in her voice. She glares at Jack, moving around me to lightly punch him in the arm. 

"You did not tell me she was this pretty," she whispered.

He moves away from her, "yeah, well I don't tell you a lot these days."

Her eyes seem to droop. Jacks acts like he doesn't notice. Instead, he pulls his hands from his pockets and makes his way up the stairs. Leaving a trail of shoes and a jacket.

By the time my eyes are back on Marissa, she's pulled on a fake smile and is tending to one of the Twins. LeAnn I think.

"Wow," I move towards the little girl. "She has changed more than I have."

Unlike Mary Ann, the other twin, this one shies away from a conversation. I can't blame her, it's been forever since she saw me, let alone talked to me.

"Well," Marissa picks up the six-year-old. "Dinner should be ready shortly, make yourself at home until then."

I nod, giving her a slight squeeze on the arm before making my way up towards Jack's room. The pictures on the stairway catch me off guard, the smiling girl in the picture shows no resemblance to the girl right now. She has her arm wrapped around her best friend, looking at him with so much love. How did he never know?

He was just that blind to never know that the girl smiling, hugging him, listening to him cry over a broken heart, and being his best friend was so in love with him.

I move away from the picture, continuing my journey towards his room. Soft music flows from a cracked door, the same room he was in before. I tap before stepping in, the action giving me major Deja-Vu.

"Weird, huh?" He asks, moving away from his bed, towards the door. He closes it with a click, the movement registering normality inside my head. We always wanted privacy, to share our secrets, to feel in our own world.

"Yeah," I nod. Despite being in the same room, the room isn't the same pre-teen room it was before. Instead of blue walls, we've got plain white ones. Posters of old movies hang on the walls, an angled desk sits in the corner, a plain black chair accompanying it. His closet is in the same place, the words adventure world still scratched into the sliding doors. "Wow, this is all so weird to see. You. . ."

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

Instead of responding I say, "you shouldn't be so hard on your mom."

"I know," he slides the desk chair towards me. "She just wants this whole new life for me, and I can't accept it."

"What's new?" I shrug, "you've never liked your life. It's like you're given these second chances, yet you turn them down. You find every little thing wrong with them. Like you did with us."

"Some things haven't changed, huh?"

The question hangs in the air for quite some time. It's not that I don't have an answer, it's that I don't have an honest one. Because no, some things haven't changed.