Fix You // Matt Healy

11

Have you ever tried your best at something only to realize you're slowly failing? Maybe you don't notice straight away, maybe it takes a week or seven years, but you will eventually notice. It shuts your body down, mentally. You're drained of feeling, you can't relate, you're a goner. 

This is how I feel with Matt. I've given him as much as I can, there's no more fight in me. Tears fall freely down my face as I zip up my suitcase, thinking about the day I just experienced. 

~~~EARLIER TODAY~~~ 

Dani approached us earlier one morning. I suddenly felt fat as she stood in front of us, sipping a banana smoothie and chewing on a bran muffin. The bag in my hand holding a breakfast sandwich, chocolate chip muffin and hash brown suddenly seems so gross that I have the urge to throw it out right away. 

"Wow, you look great today, Matty," she coos, biting her bottom lip slightly as she eyes him up. 

I pretend not to notice him check out her boobs, which are on full display thanks to the sorry excuse of a 'tank top' she has on. All men would be looking, I try to remind myself. 

"Thanks..." he states uncomfortably, making me roll my eyes. He would be undressing her right now if he didn't have me. 

If he didn't have me, my subconscious sneers, reminding me that he only wants me. 

"Ready to go?" I look up at him expectantly, leaning against him slightly. 

"Yeah, babe," he pecks my forehead gently. 

"Bye, Diana," I smirk slightly before tugging Matt's hand towards the tour bus. 

Today is our last day of our vacation before we will be heading back to England, free of the walking nightmare called Dani. 

"You're hot when you're jealous," Matt murmurs as we sit in our seats waiting to reach our destination. 

"You know what's not hot?" I question before continuing, "Checking out some broad's chest right in front of your fucking girlfriend." 

With that said, I put my headphones in, welcoming the music of Arcade Fire. 

--- 

"I didn't check out her chest, Ellie." 

It's been three hours since our little conversation on the bus and he's still trying to convince me that I'm insane. I admire him for trying, but you can't change the past, it's over. 

"Perhaps I should just spend the day by myself, we're clearly not going to get along today," I suggest while I scan the scenery around us. Our last spot on the map for our vacation was Miami, Florida. I don't tell Matty, but I'm hoping to contact my brother while we're here. 

I've been trying to find out his address or phone number since we arrived in Miami four days ago and last night I finally found it. According to the GPS on my phone, I'm twelve minutes away from my brother.