Psych.

Terrenal.

Things had been great. Too great. It began to feel wrong. It had been nearly a year. It was time to move on. This place was beginning to engrave itself on me. I let Daebak go in a lovely pond. It was somewhere he could thrive. Mikey stayed at the shelter with my boss, I would be back for him someday. And so, I took to the road with what I had earned and a heart full of uncertainty yet again.
*********
Multiple thoughts have been plaguing my head lately.
What is wrong with you?
It just feels as if i'm living on stolen time and I should've died years ago. Everyone is sick of me already.
But
The thing is, we need to live happily and do what makes us happy. And people don't like that. They don't like to see us smile because they wake up every morning and their smile isn't on their bedside table. Well I wake up like that too. Smiles aren't easy to obtain. So I became a hunter. And snatched a smile right up. Stuck it on my face and felt disgusting. Said, that's not the way to do it. So I buried it with the rest and went on a voyage.
Multiple voyages.
One might say an entirely different country.
There I was, in touch with my roots. The thing I felt was something like warm tea and honey. A familiar feeling that I could bask in for a lifetime, if only that were possible. I felt Her arms again, heard her voice. I wasn't alone. I met new people. I saw old friends and family.
I even found someone who I thought to call mine. That was something I never believed in. Until I felt his lips on mine and he coaxed out my darkest secrets. I found myself being his as well. An equivalent exchange in a world that loves to take and take and take. But that did not thaw my icy heart as much as I had even hoped for. Always prepared to leave and let go. Always prepared for silence. Always prepared to go back to square one.
I can't predict the future.
I hope this new feeling lasts.
*********
I already miss them.