Wishful Thinking [Completed]

Chapter 7

  Ughhhhh! He is so unbelievable! He is everywhere and he just won't leave me alone! First my work, my bus stop, my schedule and now my hide out!

  I don't think I even need to state who is here because you should have figured it out by now, but since not everyone pays attention and notices things, I'll spell it out for you.

  One word, five letters. Caleb.

  "You're really good!" He exclaimed with his big green eyes flashing excitedly.

  Without a word, I turned and walked calmly out of the room. OK maybe I just imagined myself walking calmly out of the room, which is what I should have done, but instead I ended up running out of the room with tears threatening to come out.

  How could he do this to me? Why can't he see that I don't want to get close with him! Why can't he see that by letting him in means to acknowledge the emotions I have pinned up so long?

  Stopping in the orchestra hallway I leaned my back against the cool tiles as I pulled myself together. My thoughts wouldn't hold still and as I turned and put my forehead against the cool surface of the wall, tears began to fall down my cheek.

  As I cried silently to myself, I couldn't deny my emotions. I had stuffed all my emotions inside hiding every thing, and I became like stone to protect myself, but even so, crying felt amazing. I couldn't admit to myself, but Caleb was bringing emotions back into my life, which was all the more reason for me stay away from him. It had been so long since I last felt some kind of overwhelming emotion. It had been so many years since I last cried or got angry. The emotion was overwhelming and frustrating. I mean, seriously, how am I supposed to shut people out, when they continuously break down my walls? How can I warn them that there will be more bad memories than good memories because I am nothing but trouble when I won't even talk to anyone? 

  I curled my hand into a fist and felt extreme anger towards the wall that stood in front of me. Not because it was a there, but because it reminded me of my life. My life was full of walls and I couldn't seem to get rid of them because I wasn't ready to see the person that I am instead of the person that I think I am. I wasn't ready to let people in and keep them. No, all I wanted to do was keep them shut out so I wouldn't have to worry about these stupid feelings. But dang Caleb had to come along and ruin everything! I rubbed my eyes viciously erasing any trace of tears and I slowly built up that impenetrable wall that had protected me for so long and with what little strength I had left, I began to make my way to my next class, fearing the time when I would have to face Caleb again.

  No that's not right! No emotion!  I told myself pushing away my feelings.

  My steps echoed throughout the hallway as I made my way to my class. Though lunch wasn't over yet, I was always early, mainly because I checked out the homework assignment, but also so I didn't have to go back to the noisy lunch room.

  Quietly I opened the door to my classroom and slipped in, keeping my head down as I walked to the back of the class where I normally sat. Sliding into my chair, I pulled the necessary materials for this class out and when I looked up I saw my teacher staring at me.

  Uh oh,  I thought to myself as I opened my mouth to speak.

  "Did I do something wrong?" I asked avoiding eye contact.

  "Do you realize you are the only person to score 100 on the country math test? 100, you didn't even miss one!" She exclaimed staring at me in amazement and wonder.

  Just as I was going to respond, the lunch bell rang signaling that lunch was over and feeling in shock I continued to stare at my teacher as the other students filed in.  When I finally snapped out of my daze, it was when Caleb sat in the desk next to me and threw a note on my desk.

  As I opened it, I noticed he had really nice handwriting and on the note, it said:

       I am not giving up. You will learn to trust me.

                                                      -Caleb