Wishful Thinking [Completed]

Chapter 10

"I was in foster care for 10 years, moving from home to home, never settling and never getting adopted. Back then I was a cute little thing with rosy cheeks and bright eyes. I was open and talkative and I always had a smile on my face."

"Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I wonder how I could have so easily shared things with others and be open and another part of me wonders if I can ever be open again."

"I began to shut down when they separated my brother from me. He was my protector, my best friend, my life. He was the reason why I could smile even though we were bullied and tossed around like garbage. He would always tell me that someday something good will come out of this, but he was wrong. After they took him away, I stopped smiling and laughing and even eating. My days were filled with gloom as the other foster kids began to pick on me moire and more creating bruises and scars all over my body."

"They told me I could visit him, but before I ever got a chance there was a shoot out at his school, and while he saved his best friend, he lost his life leaving me completely alone in this world."

"The sadness became so unbearable that I stopped talking and I refused to eat. Everyday I got skinnier and skinnier and the rosy cheek plump girl slowly disappeared. They moved me to a different home in Ohio in hopes that the other kids would help me heal, but without realizing and not really caring, they made it worse."

"I was one of the oldest children there and the foster mom made me do everything for the others. But not only was I forced to do everything for the other kids, I was raped by the eldest boy! The foster parents didn't care though. I was nothing but a ghost to them."

"On my thirteenth birthday, I was hoping for just one 'happy birthday' but all I got was fury. I remember that day so clearly it was like it happened yesterday."

"I had collapsed on the couch exhausted from watching the other foster kids all day and I still had to make dinner, but I fell asleep."

"I was woken up by being grabbed by my arm and thrown across the room.

'What do you think your doing?! Get dinner ready!' The foster mom yelled at me.

I had started to cry and she stalked up to me. I could see the smoke coming out of her ears  as she reached out her hand slapped me hard across the face."

"Although that had hurt, that wasn't what pained me the most. It was the fact that it was my birthday! Slowly I stood up and without a second glance I walked out of the house that I had lived in for three years."

"When she slapped me, my wall began to build. I was tired of being hurt because I showed feeling and I was tired of the pain. As I left the home and began my way back to my hometown, my last emotional thought was...they won't ever hurt me again.