It just happens. One moment, I am sleeping peacefully on a Saturday- being careful not to sleep on my precious baby. And the next, I wake up in a pile of blood. First, it is the shock. Second, it is mad hysteria. And lastly, it's realization.
I am dealing with a miscarriage in seven weeks of pregnancy.
I suck in a shaky breath as I feel salty tears drip from my jaw line to the bloodied sheets. In this century, miscarriages are normal and common, but I just didn't think it would happen to me.
Ron holds me and I can feel his hot tears drip onto my shoulder as he cradles me. I feel as though the earth as shifted from under me and I am just falling. I feel numb and in so much pain at the same time.
"I am so sorry," I cry once I am finally able to form words. I feel Ron shake his head as he responds with, "Baby, it is not your fault. It never was. It never will be."
"But-"
"This happens. It's just part of life. As a science teacher, I know that losing our baby is due to some type of deformity in the genome. I promise it won't happen again. I promise, baby." He whispers and softly rubs my back. I wipe my nose with the back of my hand and I take another deep shaky breath.
"Okay, well, go take a shower and I will meet you there. I just need to clean this mess up," I say.
He replies, "Baby, you go take a shower. I will clean it up. Go."
"Okay," I weakly say. There is no point in arguing. I just really hope he isn't hurting as much as me. It is too unbearable.
I crawl out of bed and walk into our master bathroom. I slowly undress myself and turn on the shower head. I wait for the water to turn warm before I walk in. I stand in the water as I stare down at my feet- watching the blood-stained water drain.
In a couple minutes, Ron joins me in the shower. He gently kisses my neck and holds me.
"I love you," I whisper.
"I love you too."
When we are done showering, I get dressed for work as he does. He insists that we should both take sick days, but I don't think being unproductive will solve anything. I kiss him goodbye and I drive to work.
Once I arrive, I immediately inform Lilly. Lilly hugs me and promises to take me out for drinks to 'drown our sorrows' as she put it.
I distract myself for the rest of the day.
I feel so lost and confused. I am not sure if I can go through another loss. I didn't have my first ultrasound, gender reveal, and I didn't even tell Mom or his side of the family. We speak of baby names, but we hadn't chosen any.
I drive home deep in thought, and as soon as I come home, I collapse on my bed. Ron is a grown man, and so I am sure that he can cook for himself. I snuggle into the pillows and bed sheets. I get comfortable and then I begin breaking down.
I get absorbed in my thoughts and suddenly, I begin shaking. My whole body trembles as I sob into my pillows. I hope Ron stays late at work, so that he doesn't see me like this. I hate being broken around him. I should be strong like him.
I feel weak. Physically weak and mentally weak.
I wish I woke up this morning feel the slight bump on my stomach. But no, life just had to be cruel.
Abruptly, I hear the phone ring. I answer it. At first, there is no sounds from the other end of the line.
And then, I hear Marc Diadem's voice for the first time in a year:
"I am sorry for your loss."
A/N: WOAHHH....told you that it would be depressing. Don't worry, the next chapter will be much in a hopeful tone. And yes, two updates on the same day. WOOHOO. Sorry, I am trying to bring light to this depressing chapter. Anyways, feel free to vote, comment...cry...
As depressing as this chapter WAS, tell me in the comments how you felt about it. I am completely not offended if you don't. I love my silent readers (I haven't said so in a long while). Honestly, the song for this chapter is perfect and I do hope you listen to it. Cya -KAyla
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Order of 2062
RomanceIt's the year: 2089 The American government has established a set of new laws for population control, which are called 'Order 2062'. For about 20 years, these laws have been executed and it's not planned for them to change. At birth, each citize...