Forever

Chapter 16: Panic

I don't know how it happened, but it did. Sebastian stood at the front of your bed, holding the pillow you had just thrown at him.

"Really, Y/N? That's how you're gonna react? Throwing a pillow at my head?"

You rolled your eyes at his remarks, sitting with your back against the headboard, clutching another pillow to your chest. "What do you want, Sebastian? And don't give me that same bullshit you said before. Spare me."

"Spare you what? I told you the truth, Y/N. I'm here for you. I need you." He tossed the pillow next to you, running his hand through his hair as he watched you. "Well?"

"Well what? I don't know what you mean by 'I need you", okay, Sebastian? I can't fucking read your mind, idiot. And you know I'm not one for games, so for the love of God, just tell me what the hell it is that you want, or else I'm gonna throw these pillows at you again, and make Tom throw you out!"

"Like the kid could even do it. He's so small, I'm scared to even touch him 'cause I feel like he might break." Sebastian chuckled to himself as he met your gaze, and stopped once he saw you were serious. "Well...what I meant by 'I need you' was that, well...I need you, Y/N. I'm in love with you, and I need you. I need you to forgive me for all this that's happened, because it's my fault."

"You're not in love with me." You shook your head as the words left your mouth, wishing you could stuff them back down your throat as you watched Sebastian's eyes widen, his mouth dropping open just slightly.

"You don't know how I feel, Y/N. How could you, when you haven't spoken to me in weeks?"

"That's exactly it, Sebastian! We haven't spoken in weeks! How can you be in love with someone you barely know?"

"Ba-barely know? Are you fucking kidding me right now, Y/N?! We've been friends for 6, 6 fucking years! I didn't know that all those days and nights I spent with you were for nothing! That they meant nothing to you!" Sebastian had been pacing back and forth, only to stop in front of you, his eyes dark, full of anger and betrayal.

"You know that's not what I mean, Sebastian. Don't turn this on me, I wasn't the one who started this whole shitty mess in the first place!"

"That's why I'm here, isn't it? That's why we're here, in this horrible situation, all because of me, Y/N! It's all my fault, and I need you to forgive me."

"And what if I can't, Sebastian? What if I can't forgive you for all that you've done? If you did love me, if you really did, you wouldn't have pulled any of this shit in the first place. I don't know if I can forgive you."

Just as Sebastian began to respond, your bedroom door opened. Anthony stepped in, followed by Chris, Robert, and Tom, who mouthed a nervous "sorry" to you while motioning to the three men before him. What happened next was what startled you more than the intruders.

It all happened so fast. Just a moment before, Sebastian stood at the foot of your bed. The next, Anthony had him on the ground, Chris and Tom moving in an instant to pull him off Sebastian, Robert walking to you, holding you against his chest as the men yelled and kicked at each other.

"Chris, Tom, let me GO! You knew better, Stan, I told you to stay away, I told you!"

"Mackie, calm down!"

"Fuck you, Anthony, you weren't going to stop me from doing anything!"

"Let me go! I'm fine, let me go!" Tom followed Anthony out of the room, who was muttering obscenities under his breath as he walked. Chris shut the door while Sebastian sat in the chair closest to him. Robert was still clutching you to his chest, but you didn't care. You were scared. When did everything get so violent?

"Sorry about that, doll. Promise it won't happen again." Evans flashed you a small smile before he directed a nasty glare at Sebastian, who was wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. "Get out."

"Wh-what? Chris, man, you've gotta be kiddi-"

"I'm not. You're not welcome here, clearly. Now please, leave, before I have to kick you out myself."

-

"Are you sure you'll be okay going in alone, Y/N?" Robert squeezed your shoulder as you stood before the double doors of the ICU, a nurse standing before the two of you, waiting patiently for your decision. Will I ever really be okay after all of this?

"I'm fine, I promise. Besides, it's the ICU. If I pass out again, I'm pretty sure there's lots of qualified people around to bring me back if the need arises." You smiled at Robert, knowing your glassy eyes betrayed you, but he only nodded, letting you go. He stepped back, turning to join the others – Tom, Chris, Anthony, Paul and the Russos – outside in the waiting area. As you walked past the double doors into the ICU, you couldn't help the anxiety rushing through you. As the nurse finally stopped in front of his room, you realize how real everything was.

"Just so you're aware, he's been taken off all of the coma drugs. He hasn't woken up yet, but if he does, there's a green panic button for you to press, alerting my fellow nurses and I."

"Wh-why is there a panic button?"

"In case he's unaware of where or who he is, if any of his stats start to drop, things like that are common side effects of waking from a medically-induced coma. Yet, between you and me, as far as the doctors are concerned, it's a miracle he's made it this far. Miss Y/L/N, you're one lucky woman. He's a fighter." The nurse gave you a tight smile and squeezed your hand lightly before swiping her card for access. The door clicked, and slid open. She stepped aside, motioning for you to enter. You nodded, taking a few deep breaths as you smoothed your dress out, watching yourself step into his room.

The beeping of the machines, the smooth, steady beat of his heart, his even, quiet breaths, all hit you the moment you looked at him. He looked so peaceful, lying in the hospital bed, tubes sticking out of him. You rushed to his side, lightly caressing his cheek while your free hand grasped his lightly. You laughed at yourself as you remembered how Chad always said he did the same to you when you were deep asleep, not stirring when he traced his fingers along your skin. Oh, how I wish he could see us now. If only I could wake him up myself...

-

You felt something tight around your hand; as you lifted your gaze towards it, you realize you had fallen asleep. Just as you moved to rub your eyes, yours met someone else's, for a brief second. Bright, cold, piercing blue eyes.