Forever

Chapter 9: Loss

Anthony fumbled around with the keys to his hotel room, as you leaned against the cool wall across from his door. Sebastian was seated on the floor next to you, his head leaning against your knee – how is that in any way comfortable? Was all you could think about. Finally, you heard the faint beep followed by a small flashing green light, meaning Mackie had finally managed to unlock the door. He stumbled through, and you made your way to the room, leaving Sebastian to fall against the hardwood floor, startling him.

"Not cool, doll."

"Get up, Seb. C'mon." You motioned with your hand towards the inside of the room as Sebastian ran his hand through his already messy hair.

"I'm coming." He stood up, dusting off his pants before he walked in past you. You heard Mackie sigh, and you closed the door behind you as you turned to face him. He was sitting at the edge of his bed, head in hands. Sebastian was making himself comfortable on the loveseat by the window, and he patted the open seat next to him when he saw you standing. You gave him a small smile but shook your head. You leaned against the wardrobe in front of Mackie, and you slipped your heels off before clearing your throat, trying to get his attention. Anthony looked up at you, and rolled his eyes.

"What?" You sat down on the ground in front of him, fixing your dress before you poked his leg.

"What are we gonna do about this whole mess?" Anthony motioned to Sebastian and then to you, and you grabbed his hand before he could pull away.

"It's gonna be fine, Anthony. We've only got a month of press tour, and then we're in the clear. I don't get why you're stressing about this."

"Because its fucked up, (Y/N). That's why I'm stressed. We're putting at risk our professional and personal relationships with Chad, in order to keep this secret from him."

"Don't paint her as the bad guy, Mack. All of this is my fault – she's only doing this to protect me."

"And that's what makes this even worse!" Anthony pulled away from you to glare at Sebastian before he turned to you again. You could see tears welling up in his eyes, but Mackie wiped them away before he spoke again.

"You'd rather protect him than the man you love? I don't understand why you think this is right."

"Do you want me to throw Seb to the wolves, Anthony? Chad is going to kill him the moment he finds out about this."

"You know, when he eventually finds out – don't look at me like that, you both know damn well you won't be able to keep this secret forever! – when Chad finds out, it's going to hurt him more then than it will if you tell him now. Keeping this from him will make him question your entire relationship, (Y/N). Are you willing to deal with that? He's going to question everything you ever did when you were together. You're going to destroy all the trust you've built up, and it will not end well."

"So, essentially Anthony, what you want me to do is choose between Sebastian and Chad?"

Mackie looked down into your eyes, and it hurt you to know he felt like this. He looked down at his hands, and then glanced back at Sebastian. Sebastian refused to look at him, instead staring at the wall in front of him. You sighed, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

"You already know who I'd choose, Mackie." You whisper, looking up to meet his eyes.

"Yeah, but he doesn't." Anthony whispered back, motioning to Sebastian before he stood up from the bed. He extended his hand towards you, and you grabbed it as you rose. You fixed your dress again, glancing between Anthony and Sebastian. Mackie motioned towards the door, and you nodded as he began to make his way out of the room. You turned to face Sebastian, and he looked up at you as you sat down on the bed.

"Who would you choose, (Y/N)?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Mackie heard you, too. And he just left. So obviously, the answer is not me. Or maybe it is me. Either way, the answer is going to hurt someone." Sebastian ran his hands through his hair, his lips pursed together, waiting for you to respond.

"I'm sorry, Sebastian."

"Liar."

"W-what?"

"No you're fucking not. You're not sorry at all. You've strung me along this whole time, (Y/N)! You made me think I had a chance!" He scoffed, rolling his eyes as he stood up. You opened your mouth to retaliate, but then began to second guess what you wanted to say. Sebastian looked down at you and scoffed again, pacing back and forth in front of you.

"You –you thought you had a chance? Are you fucking kidding me, Sebastian? I told you the moment you "confessed" your feelings for me that I didn't feel the same way! How the hell did you get the idea that you had a chance from that?! No, no. You do not get to blame all this shit on me. This is all you."

"Really? All my fault? You told me we were going to hide this from your fucking precious boyfriend! What was I supposed to think about that? I'm a man, I know how to fucking handle myself, (Y/N). I wanted to tell Chad, to put all this behind us, but you wanted to hide it. What were we going to gain from hiding it, hm?"

"I was trying to protect our friendship, you idiot! You know as well as I do that if we told Chad, he would've made me choose between the two of you! But looks like either way, I'm going to have to do that. And fuck you, Sebastian. You know damn well who I would choose, don't fucking make me say it."

"No, I need to hear you say it. If it's how you truly feel, you wouldn't have any issue with saying it. So do it. Tell me who's more important in your life – me or Chadwick?"

Tears were silently streaming down your cheeks as you balled your hands up into fists, pressing them into the bed on either side of you. You took a few deep breaths before looking up to meet Sebastian's gaze.

"I'm sorry, Sebastian. I love Chad too much to – "

"No, no explanations. Years of friendship don't mean shit to you, obviously. I'll pass that tidbit of information on to all our friends, just so they know."

"Fuck off, Seb. Why are you doing this to me?"

"You just couldn't let me be. We were fine when I cut this whole thing off months ago. But you just had to get your fucking explanation."

You couldn't stop yourself.

"I never want to speak to or see you again. I never want to hear your fucking voice again. And I sure as hell never want to work with you, ever."

"Fine with me. Do you want me to leave?"

You looked up to see Sebastian's blue eyes, glistening with tears from the anger he was holding back, his voice threatening to crack if he said any more. You looked down at your hands, slightly unsure whether you'd regret the answer you were about to give him.

"Please, just fucking go already. It's the one thing you're actually good at. "

You refused to look up as you heard a small sigh and the door slamming shut - if you let him see you like this for any longer, he wouldn't leave without a fight. As soon as the door shut, you scrambled to lock it before leaning against the door, sliding down to the floor. You pulled your knees to your chest as you began to sob, tears falling onto your dress. You couldn't make it stop, and you weren't sure you'd be able to.