Forever

Chapter 21: Decisions

October 20th, 2016 (PD) – Chadwick's POV

6 months since the worst day of my life. I never understood the discourse on trauma, and the effects it has on its' victims, until now. I don't sleep anymore. I haven't been able to sleep since I came home. Every night is the same, and I find it utterly annoying that nothing I do seems to help. Y/N doesn't know, because I don't want her to think there's something wrong. Even when there is.

-

"Man, you have got to stop being so passive aggressive with her. It's annoying me, and I'm starting to feel like this is a repeat of what happened last year,"

"Don't compare me to him, Anthony. What's the point in confiding in you when you're just going to throw things like that in my face?"

"Hey, I wasn't throwing anything in your face. I'm just telling you how it is – that's what you wanted from me, isn't it? The whole reason why you confided in me from the start: your feelings for Y/N, the fact you thought they were in love; all of that, you did because you wanted me to keep you grounded. That's all I'm doing, so suck it up."

I groaned as I threw myself back on the couch, trailing my hands across the sofa cushions. He has a point, you know. I confided in Anthony from the very beginning, because he was the only one I felt I could really...trust.

"Fine. Continue your...whatever it is you were saying," I turn my head just in time to catch him rolling his eyes as he takes a sip from his glass.

"Well, I was going to say that you need to talk to your girl. She's started coming to me about how you're not really talking to her, and how she thinks you're upset with her because she's friends with Sebast-"

"I'm mad at him – not her."

"Then take it out on him!! I don't care what you do, just stop hurting Y/N! God, I am sick and tired of the two of you competing with one another while ignoring the fact that she's the one getting hurt in the process. Both of you know I could easily end all of this by telling her, but I'm a man, who does not interfere in other people's business. So, get your act together, and fucking talk to her!"

-

PD:

"Hello darling, how are you?"

"Fine, momma. I just, uh, wanted to catch you up on some things." I'm nervously scratching the back of my neck as I pace around the bedroom, waiting for my mother to reply.

"Is she there right now?"

"No – she's out with some old friends from college for the day; probably won't be back until late."

"Well, what seems to be the matter?"

"I...I don't know what to do."

"About?"

"All of this: her, Sebastian, the relationship, just...everything."

"Has anything...happened?"

"Oh, god no. And well, that's the problem. If something did happen, it would make things so much easier for me. But, god...she's so perfect, Ma. And I'm just...not."

"Chadwick, I refuse to hear you say that about yourself!"

"But, it's true! I've been taking out all my anger and frustration on her when I should be taking it out on Sebastian. But I can't do that, either. If I hurt him, I hurt her. And yet here I am, hurting her anyways. I don't deserve her or her love. It's amazing how nasty I can be when provoked by the right person. Sensational, really."