Forever

Chapter 19: Insecure

May 30th, 2016 – Y/N's POV

It's been a month since Chad came home from the hospital, and you couldn't be happier. You never leave his side, despite his protests. He knows you mean well, but he doesn't want to be the reason you neglect your family and other friends. During the first two weeks, you had daily visits from Chad's parents, who wanted to spend some time with their favorite couple before heading back to South Carolina. After they would leave, a few of your friends would always swing by to catch up. It was like they had a schedule – Chris and Paul Rudd would stop by every Monday and Thursday; Tom, Robert, and Paul Bettany on Tuesday and Friday; Elizabeth, Scarlett, and Mark Ruffalo on Sunday, and Sebastian and Anthony on Wednesday and Saturday.

Sebastian didn't come by the apartment those first few days. until Chad had made it clear they were okay; he refused to intrude where he felt he didn't belong, despite your own protests. Surprisingly, you didn't need to convince Chadwick to let Sebastian come by – he had made the decision himself, while in the hospital. Sebastian was the one who needed reassurance that they were on good terms. He was keen on obtaining both Chadwick's and your forgiveness after everything he had done over the past several months, and while you both had forgiven him, you had the nagging feeling that Sebastian was still punishing himself. So, despite having promised yourself – and Carolyn – that you would be wary of getting too close to him again, you rekindled the relationship you once had. And damn it, if it was not the best decision you could've made.

After having a sort of heart-to-heart with him one night, you both established that you wanted to be friends again. What made it such a great decision was the fact that Chadwick wholeheartedly agreed. He wanted you to be happy, and he knew Sebastian was an important part of that happiness. Besides, he said, he missed having someone who could partake in making fun of you, in a 'good' way, of course! So, the days went by, and it felt amazing; this is how everything could have turned out, if Sebastian just hadn't...well, you know...done everything. You were so glad your two favorite people were once again getting along, that everything was falling back into place, as if the past 7 months had never happened. Except they had.

June 29th, 2016 – Chadwick's POV

So happy. She's very happy...too happy. Now, of course Chad wanted her to be like this. He just didn't want the source of all her happiness to be him. Of everyone on the entire face of the Earth, it had to be him.

Chadwick wasn't the type of guy to control every single thing his girlfriend did; if he didn't want that, why would she? But, Y/N and Sebastian – now that was something he wish he could control. And he kind of does, in a way. When Y/N came to him weeks earlier, asking him if he thought it was a good idea to move forward with Sebastian, he agreed, only because he knew he'd be able to handle it. Y/N hadn't left his side at all in the past week, and she had no intention of doing so. She had made sure to organize grocery deliveries through the end of the summer, and had cancelled all plans she had made earlier in the year – Y/N was staying right where she was, "whether you like it or not!". So, what's the harm with having your girlfriend hang out with her best friend who's in love with her, in the middle of your living room, with you on the other side of the couch? At first, no harm. Chadwick would sit on one end of the vastly large couch, Y/N curled up into his side, Sebastian and Anthony sitting opposite them, beers on the coffee table in the middle. Then, the days went by. And she started slipping.

Every day, she inched closer and closer to Sebastian's side, until they were practically on top of one another. Then, it was like poof!, and Chadwick was erased from Y/N's memory. As soon as he walked in the door, Sebastian became the center of her world. It was annoying, to say the least. But it became much more concerning when Chad recognized it as the same behavior he witnessed just a year before, when filming for Civil War had just started...

June 15th, 2015 –

"I think I like her, man. Like, a lot. Although, we've only known each other for a few months at most, but still."

"Then what's the problem? Why're you holding back, Boseman?"

"Well...it's just that...I think she might like someone else."

"Who could be better than you, man?! You're the Black Panther!"

"Ha! No, no. She's known this guy for almost, what? Like 5 years? They might even be dating, I don't know..."

"And what makes you say that? Did you see something happen?"

"It's just...the way they act with each other? It's something else. Every time she looks at him, she's got this little twinkle in her eye. God, I sound like such a sappy idiot, ha. But seriously. The same goes for him – it's like they could just stare at each other for days and still be happy. I just have this feeling, man."

"No offense, brother, but sounds like she might be in love with this other guy."

"Yeah...maybe you're right."

September 18th, 2016 –

It's a miracle, really. Never thought this day would actually happen! It was like a dream; she just magically appeared in front of me, in all her divine beauty, and asked me to dinner. She. Asked. Me. God, I'm such an idiot. But a happy one. Gotta be honest, though. I really did think that this would never happen – I always assumed Y/N was in love with Sebastian. It made sense to me, the way they're always with each other, laughing, smiling. Always hugging, holding hands. Sharing food, clothes. But, then again, she always calls him her "best friend", or "the brother she wishes she had instead of the one she does have", so maybe not? Also, must admit that Stan is one hell of a dude – I'm shocked he's never developed feelings for her. I've only known her 8 months, and I'm head over heels. 5 years? I would've married her by now. God, she's amazing.

-

Chadwick had no reason to worry about Sebastian. Y/N would never cheat on him – she was too good for that sort of thing. She was too honest, too real. She'd never hurt someone like that; especially not after everything she's gone through. But he just can't help but wonder if he's made a mistake. If he's the reason he's starting to lose her...all because he couldn't love her the way he loves her.