Dear Diary|| Josh Franceschi #Wattys2017

9th of October

Dear diary,
I met my family.
My body was filled with anxiety and pain. I had a stomach ache and I couldn't breathe easily.

I held on until lunch, but when I saw food my breathe became heavier, and I suddenly wanted to throw up.
I tried to eat something but my stomach refused to help me, my family gave me a worried look and I started crying.
My aunt started to think that I didn't like what she prepared and that made the situation even more embarrassing.
I ran to the bathroom and I tried to make my anxiety disappear, I sat on the toilet and I kept crying. The sobs became louder and my grandmother went to the bathroom to see what was happening.
She wiped my tears and asked what was going on, I told her everything.
I told her about what happened to Sarah and what was going on on the tour. When she heard the name Josh her eyes darkened a bit. I understood everything in that moment and I told her that that 'Josh' was Michael's brother. She knew everything, all the people in Weybridge knew everything , even the ones that were in my school, but they all acted like Michael was the problem because they were scared of my popularity.

Anyway that's not the point, going back to what happened with my granny, she told me what I expected. Joshua Franceschi was the boy who had a crush on me when we where younger, and the same one who hated me and still hates me because his brother's dead because of me.

Everything started to make sense to me.

'You ruined my life'

I really did. That wasn't something that he said without reasons, I should have remembered everything in that moment.

I don't know if I still want to tour with the guys.

Bye, Joolene