Dear Diary|| Josh Franceschi #Wattys2017

9th of November (part two)

...

*flashback*

I knocked on their door. I remeber that when I was a young little girl I used to admire this house while I was watering my grandparents' plants lovated on the little garden in front of their house. It was the house of my dreams: big enough, with a large garden and a big balcony that I loved.
There lived a big, happy family time ago... but then I took their happiness away.

I waited a bit but then Sophia, Joshua's mother, opened the door. Seeing her after all these years killed me, she once was a beautiful women with a smile on her face all the time. Don't get me wrong, she's still beautiful even though she's aged, but she doesn't care about her appearance anymore.

She greeted me with a polite smile.

"Good afternoon, who are you?"
She didn't remember me.

I felt like I couldn't speak, I barely told her:
"Good afternoon Mrs. Franceschi, I'm " I made a pause and took a long breath " -I am Joolene Arsinch and I would like to talk to you"

The smile on her face disappered and she let me get into the house. We sat on the armchairs and I started to talk.

"Well, I came here to say I'm sorry for some reasons, I really hope you'll understand me and forgive me but I don't expect you to do it because the pain that I caused to you and your family has no end and I know it.
First of all I'm glad that you didn't shut the door at my face and took some time to listen to me. I'm really sorry for the fact that I never had the guts to come here before, I've always been convinved that I would start panicking. The reason why I am here is your  son Joshua, I was on tour wi-"
She interrupted me.

"Yes, he told me that you were on tour together. He even told me about your disorders and I'm sorry"

"Well you shouldn't afert all I've done to your family"-I was about to cry, I felt it- "Your child died because of me, because I wanted popularity for being mean after all the time that I've spent alone for being too kind. Because I believed that I was the wrong one so I wanted to change the way the people saw me and he was exactly like me and he received the same treatement that I received for being a beautiful person. I could've helped him, I could've asked the others to stop making fun of him, instead I started bullying him and he's not here anymore" I broke down crying and my breath became heavier and heavier. Sophia, that holy woman, helped me and was by my side until I felt a little better.

"Sweetheart, I really would try to forgive you but I can't, I'm still in pain for what happened to Michael even though I know it wasn't completely your fault, but I'm still a mother and I cannot stand the fact that someone took my son away from me."

"I understand, you're completely right" that is the last thing I said before going straight to the door, but when I went out, with my eyes full of tears, a voice stopped me.

"That was nice of you to come and visit us" I didn't want to believe to what I heard. I turned back and I saw Josh looking at me with a little smile, I felt something weird in my stomach, I smiled back for a second.

"Take care, huh? You have to come back on tour" he said and I nodded, than I greeted him with a wave of my hand and then I went back to my grandparents' house.

**end of the flashback**

That's all.
Bye, Joleene