Hugot/Advice ko [^_^]

FATHER'S DAY. OPEN LETTER

I was about to greet you HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, but then I just thought, WHEN, WHERE AND HOW THE HECK HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A FATHER TO MY CHILD? Just because I've got your fuckin' cells inside me, you can be called a FATHER? C'mon, dude. I knew I was pregnant and the very first thing I did upon knowing was to tell you that. How the fuck did you answer me? "IS THAT MINE? REALLY MINE? ARE YOU SURE?" Oh my! You're so unbelievable! You got me 'V', we had it twice and I knew it just not at least after 2 months of doing that and then I got the fucking question as an answer? Like seriously? FUCKYOU! But, nevermind. You're not man enough. Ridiculous it is! I bare this child, be a mother and a father at the same time, turned 4 without seeing you. Seriously? I didn't even tell you 'fuck off and don't come near us' or even 'you won't see my child ever!' though I heard a shit from you that day. But just look what you did! You just live a fuckin' so-free life like you didn't even care or think if she's really yours. Four years. We've waited for 4 years and it so freakin' hurts everytime I see her looking at other children's dad. Looks like she is wondering "Where is mine? Do I have one?". I don't want to tell her that her Dad is dead or like how others explain to their children "He's in heaven." 'cause you're so so alive and living your so-called-great-life! Besides, would heaven accept you? I don't want to tell her "Your Dad is working and will be home soon." It's killing me since she started asking questions like "Mama, where's my Papa?" "Do I also have Papa like them?"- Pointing to other children, to a beautiful portrait of a family. I don't know where to pull answers, afraid of answering that question, afraid that I might give her false hopes. I don't want to take you out of her life, to the fact that I waited for you to show up at least once in the past years. You didn't even try to contact me. You freak! You thought you were just in a game? Like after getting an item that you didn't like, losing interest on it, you can easily abandon the game you're in? Damn you! You know what you did? I just don't know where to start! All I could tell her is "I don't know either. Maybe we'll see him, maybe not. But don't wait, okay? No one knows dear. But don't worry, Mama's here." Yeah, sounds like shit but can you blame me? Well, I think that's enough. Waiting is enough. Maybe I can answer her now with a "Don't look for your father, baby. He is not coming." Or maybe not...still. I DON'T KNOW! The older she gets, the more questions she'll have. The more questions she asks, the more silent I'll be sooner. The more silent I am, the more pain she'll have. Argh! You just so fuckin' coward! You don't call yourself a man. But thanks to you 'cause I have her now, but there's no such thank you for being a father. She is my everything and so far as we live without you, we're doing well. Maybe that's how it is. If you'll be here and things would be just a mess, no thanks. Just in case you're gonna explain your part, I can hear it, I will listen, but I am not sure if I will understand. If you are to explain, you'll only see me. Just me. Not my daughter, not yet.
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Everything you read is not my life story, not even based on others'. If it happened to be similar, it is coincidental.

If ever you are in a situation like this, LEARN TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES. DO YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES. ACCEPT WHAT YOU DID AND BE BRAVE.

GOT SOMEONE PREGNANT? FACE IT. BE A MAN. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY AND THEN I/WE CAN GREET/WISH YOU A
"HAPPY FATHER'S DAY"!