Divorce

∞ of Two

(March 16th, 2010)

I buttoned up my white sleeved shirt and knotted up my tie, fixing my collar. Then I pulled on my red school skirt, the one that reaches just a little above my knee and tried a little bit too hard to get my dark blue eye liner circled around my eyes to make them pop just how he liked it.

When I finished my eyes, I quickly threw on my school blazer and called for mom to take me to school.

The car ride was quiet. My mom had her headphones on, listening to some overrated Russian song while the radio was turned up to a volume ten for me to sing along to the latest American hits.

I entered the class that I was assigned to for my exam and smiled when I saw him. He was sitting next to this new girl whose name I couldn't quite remember.

She was pretty, with long jet black hair that cascaded down her back in big waves. She had a chubby face, but her high cheekbones evened it out. Her eyes were of a very dark brown shade, almost like Jeremy's but they were always covered with bright, emerald green lenses making them look like

She seemed like the happy go lucky type. It's like she's never had any problems at all in her life. She appears to live in the moment, but if she doesn't want to be in it anymore, she'd disappear within the snap of a finger.

They were seated together, laughing their lungs out along with the other kids from their clique.

I remember the day Jeremy asked me for permission to be able to hug Hana and hang out with her when I wasn't around. It was when they first started hanging out. It bothered me, but I didn't say anything. I mean they were just friends, what was the harm, right?

Now, they threw me out of the picture. I'm the third wheel that is watching her boyfriend float the boat with another girl.

Jeremy looks up at me, still laughing at something she must have said. I smiled at him.

He just ignores me and turns his attention back to her, listening carefully to what she was saying. There's a small smirk playing on her lips as she animatedly talks to him about something.

I let out a small sigh and walk up to them, smiling, "Hey."

Whenever I'm around Jeremy, it feels like I am ruling out every single sensible thing I've ever had in my life. And I'm not sure how I feel about that or why exactly I feel that way.

"Hi, Cassidy. What're you doing here?" He asks, his eyebrows furrowing. Then he turns back to look at Hana.

Feeling rejected, I slowly walk past them and sit in the bench behind him, poking him on the shoulder to reply to his previous question.

"I'm here to write my exam," I retort ,feeling a little angry at his indifference. We have exams going on, why is he pestering me about something he already knew about?

"Just asking," he shrugs and then continues, "Want to take a walk around the corridors?" He asks me, his head tilting to the side, as he points at the door.

"Sure." I mumble.

We both get up and start circling the hallways at a fast pace. He doesn't really say much to me, but I am fine with the silence.

Jeremy stops by the staircase and I just follow him quietly. There's a window at the side, between each floor. I stand by it, watching the kids play outside and their parents growing impatient for reasons I don't know. 

 I think about the memories Jeremy and I have. There are so many and all of them mean so much to me. He means so much to me. Sometimes, he mean so much it hurts.