A Song Sung In English

First Impressions

What have I done to deserve this. My cheeks are sore from all the pinching. I have done nothing.

        Actually, I did do something. Exsist. Now, it wasn't my fault that the lady Vocaloids were fascinated with me when they came over to the Engloid place to come meet me after my release, as Sweet ANN had to throw a party to celebrate.

        And it wasn't because I was just that handsome that the ladies were swooning. I wouldn't be complaining if that was the case. I can sum up my frustration with a single phrase that was told to me one to many times. Just thinking about it almost makes my blood boil.

        "You're so CUTE!"

        Replace 'cute' with 'adorable' or 'sweet' and you've got 90% of the comments I heard about me today.

        Let me tell you it was not appreciated. I'm in no way cute! I'm just, designed to be a little choir boy with a soprano voice and a young face- okay I'm cute. Wasn't my fault, when the artists came around to doing their art thing for me, they were looking for competition for Len "Fuck you" Kagamine. Actually I think it's "Damn you" but I am in no mood for specifics. Leave that weirdo to his weirdness. I want to be my own Vocaloid. A MAN. Not a choir boy.

        ...I don't think a man would spew his thoughts into a unknowing abyss. Who am I talking to anyways? I think you, you're reading my suffering, yes? Hi Reader, I'll call you that. Sorry about all my complaining, I'm rage packed into an adorable voicebank. Oopsie daisy, I guess.

        Anyways, I'm on a mission. I'm going to try and change my image, be a little more mature. Mature sells, right? ....considering Big AL and Kaito, maybe not. But didn't I not want to sell before? Wow, am I conflicted. ...I guess I'll just go with whatever works at this point.

        But as far as actual narrative, I was sweeping up the floors of the Engloid house after the party because everyone else was passed out and hungover (Guess who's not allowed to drink? Me.) When I heard two voices, perfectly in sync, speak from behind me.

        "Hoi, I think were late!"

        Oh my god. Why this.

        I thought the Kagamines weren't invited. I thought I was free.

        "Nope, not today Oliver. " I could hear the universe say that in my ear as is metaphorically flipped me the bird. Fuck you too, universe.

        "Oh, um, hello..." I muttered, setting down the broom. My goldfinch, James, hid in my hat. James knows whats up. 

        Rin, the female of the two twins, instantly ran over to me and took off my hat. "Oh my god! You have a bird! He's so adorable I want to pet him!" She squealed as she tried to grab James, his response being to screech and fly of as fast as he could. Now that Rin was chasing my poor bird around the house , the latter screeching so loud I had to rub my temples while covering my ears. Len was doing similar.

        "I'm sorry about my sister!" He shouted, well considering that we were both covering our ears, it sounded to be at an appropriate volume to me. "She really likes animals!"

        "Birdy!! Come back!" Rin said over and over as the chased continued. Now the other Engloids were waking up and I was in big trouble.

        "Wh..? Oliver, wat's with the racket?" Leon said as he stumbled to regain his senses. "Make ya damn bird be quiet!"

        Rin stopped in her tracks when she heard Leon as James returned to safety on my shoulder. "H-how many of you are here, exactly?" She asked.

        "Ol..Oliver?" Big Al stumbled into the living room with Sweet Ann, also awakened by the racket, as Rin begun to scream .

        "IT'S- IT'S FRANKENSTEIN AND HIS WIFE! I'M GONNA GET EATEN!" I have never seen someone run out of that house so fast. Good riddance, in my opinion. Len just watched his mirror image just flee, with an emotionless expression on his face.

        "....welp. Can't say I'm surprised about her reaction." He said, with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "Her fault that she can't see better."

        Ice cold.

        Len then turned to me and waved. "Sorry again about all that, and for being so late. You're Oliver, right?"

        I nodded, not saying anything. Not only because I couldn't bother, but James had taken shelter in my hat again, and I could feel his little talons carving their way into my head and if I made a sound it'd be one of extreme pain.

        Apparently Len took notice. "Hey...you okay there buddy..?"

        I couldn't hold this in anymore.

        "JAMES GET OUT OF MY HAT I'D LIKE TO KEEP MY FUCKING SCALP."  I screamed at the top of my lungs , mostly in  pain and frustration. Len just stared at me all awkward like and just slowly backed out of the house.

        Great first impressions I was making. I guess I could be called "a weird as fuck freak" along with "cute".

        Don't know which is worse really. I'm still going to go with 'cute'.