A Song Sung In English

Don't Fight USBs over Tea

Out of all people I could get into an argument with, it was a human electric plug.

No, excuse me, human USB port. Gotta make specifics here.

Either way, I got into an argument with Utatatatatatatatatane Pikachu this morning, and I was only going down to the market to get a breakfast sandwich (I don't trust anything that's in the house right now so I'm freeloading off Al's money to buy my own food) .

Now, you'd expect that just going to buy a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel sandwich would be an easy feat. And it was, however, god forbid I want to get Snapple.

I was minding my dandy old business, scanning the shelves for some form of the tea, only to see one thing of it left in the store's open freezer, so I reach out to grab it, and sure enough another hand much paler than mine reached out to my preferred beverage.

"Yo runt, get out of my way."

I was being threatened by none other that Utatane Piko, one of the more underrated VOCALOID2s. If I could convey sarcasm through text, I'd tell you I was terrified. However, I can't so I am going to tell you that he was the least threatening person I had ever seen.

I grabbed the Snapple and stared at him. "I was here first, excuse you." I tried to say as politely as I could.

Then, for some odd reason, Piko started laughing really loud. "You honestly just said that?! I've been doing this every day since before you were released, British pipsqueak! I'll 'be here first' until you're retired! Now give me that!"

At this point I couldn't believe he was saying such petty things about me over such a petty situation, but since I am a mature individual, I stuffed the Snapple in my coat and walked past him to see how my sandwich was doing, stepping on his cord tail in the process on pure accident.

"What the hell, pipsqueak!? Do you want to fight!? I'll give you a fight!" Now Piko sounded angry, as was that a spark coming off his weird P shaped cowlick? I certainly didn't to find out!

I said I was sarcastically scared before, but now I was legitimately terrified. I took my breakfast and threw a 20 dollar bill on the desk before running back to the Power FX house as fast as my tiny legs could carry me. It was too early for this crap. What time was it? 9 AM? Far to early to be fighting people.

Once I got back, I threw the door shut and started wheezing, while SONiKA stared at me with the most puzzled expression on her face. How was she here. She didn't live here. Why wasn't she at the ZeroG house.

"Um, Ollie, are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost..." She said, furrowing her brow.

Taking a deep breath, I told her that nothing was wrong and darted off to the kitchen, where Sweet ANN and Big AL were talking over coffee. They too, looked at me with puzzled expressions.

"Oliver? Is everything alright?" AL asked me.

I didn't answer him, just took a look, slow bite out of my bagel, keeping eye contact with him as I chewed it. I eventually was going to respond, until there was a furious knocking at the door.

"OPEN UP NEWB! I KNOW GOOD AND WELL YOU LIVE HERE!"

Piko. Pik oh no. He had found me. Did he follow me home like a weird stalker? ...I didn't want to know the answer to that question.

AL narrowed his eyes. "Oliver, I'm going to ask again. Is everything alright?"

THAT'S when I had to tell Al everything that had happened in the past hour as Piko's knocking only got louder. After what felt like a church confession, AL said "I'll take care of it" before hiking up to the door.

If nothing else I am now worried for Piko.