A broken boy// Matthew Espinosa Fanfiction

12

Matthew's POV

I get to my house, not able to stop myself from crying.

I knew it was a mistake before I even did it.

I knew I would regret it.

I want to say its for the best but it doesn't feel like that at all.
She hurts. I hurt. 

But she was right. I am just a fuck boy. A stupid fucking fuck boy who thinks that pushing away the only person that truly sees him as someone other than a waste of space is a good idea. 

I slam my front door shut and as soon as I look up I see my mom passed out on the couch and almost all of my dad's things gone.

I sigh, wiping my tears and making my way to my mom.

I cover her up as she seemed pretty cold, but when I looked at her, I wasn't sure if she was breathing.

I watch her for any signs of her body breathing, leaning down to try to hear if she is, or feel if she is.

I freaked out, not sure if she was.

I grab my phone and call 911.

As soon as I was connected with the operator I freaked out more, telling the woman the only thing I know, which is that my sleeping, probably drunk mother, is freezing cold and not breathing.

"Is her heart beating?" She asked me and with my two fingers I feel for her pulse in her neck.

"Uh. Y-yes yes. It is still beating .. kinda?" I said, the heartbeat not very quick.

"Paramedics are on there way." She tells me

Within minutes they got here and was taking her out on a stretcher, asking me questions about her health and more.

Me getting into the ambulance with my unconscious mother and the paramedics.

I watch them hooking up my mom to machines, her heart beat present like I said but not very fast at all.

Her breathing almost nonexistent.

I turned my head as the tears started coming again, not able to watch the things they were doing.

 We arrived at the hospital and they rushed my mom out, me trying to follow but they send me to the waiting room.

I sit down, covering my face with my hands as my eyes poured tears.

I grab my phone and call Dani, just praying she would answer maybe.

Straight to voicemail.

I wait for the beep.

"H-hey, Dani.. I uh. I know that we are not on the best terms right now. As of earlier. But But I really need you Dani. Please call me back" I said before hanging up.

I wait in the waiting room for hours.

Trying to figure out what happened to mom. What I am going to do if she isn't okay. Why I am so stupid to just intentionally hurt Dani. And many many more thoughts.

Finally a doctor came out for my mom.

He stands in front of me, a blank expression on his face.

"She is your mother correct?" He asked me and I nodded, looking up at him.

"I'm sorry.. We did all we could. But she was already pretty far gone when we got her here." He tells me and my heart drops.

"W-what?" I asked 

"She had drank quite a bit of alcohol lately hasn't she? She had drank entirely too much for herself, and died of alcohol poisoning." He said and I look down, nodding a little.

"Would you like to see her?" He asked me and I looked up at him, shaking my head no.

"I can't" I said 

"I understand" He replies.

I call my sister Kristen.

"Hey whatsup?" She asked.

"Kristen?" I said

"Whats wrong Matt?" She asked.

"Its mom." I tell her.

"What happened? Is she okay?" She asked me.

"No. No she isn't okay. She died Kris Shes gone" I said crying more.

"What? No. This better be a prank Matthew" She said 

"Its not" I said 

"Oh my god. Did you tell-" I cut her off.

"You're the only one I called"  I said

"I'll call Dylan and Ryan. An-and. You just sit tight Matt. I'll get there soon" She said 

"Okay" I cried.

"Love you" She said

"Love you too" I replied before hanging up.

I stand up

I can't be in this stupid hospital any longer.
I walk out and start my walk back home.

What am I going to do now? 

I lost my mom.

And the only girl that I ever really cared for. In the same day.

I keep my head down as I walked and as soon as I reached my house I broke down for real..

I didn't hold back anything.

Just let it all out of me as I sat on the floor, leaned against the wall