Can't Love You {Sequel to "Not Sherlock Holmes"}

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Benedict's POV

I try to ignore the pain that the news brings me. After all, this is for the best. This will save lives. Everyone's lives, for that matter. Everything will be okay.

Except it won't be.

I hold Veronica closer to me. I don't want to let her go. We've been through so much. I don't want to just... forget.

I understand that once I've forgotten, it will be gone. I can't miss what I don't remember. But I just can't help but think that once all is said and done, I'll feel a deep hole in my heart and in my life, and I won't know what's missing. I won't know what's supposed to be there, and that's what frightens me the most. Not only will she no longer be a part of my life, but I will still feel the aching emptiness that her absence will leave in my life.

The thought terrifies me. But I know we must go through with this.

"A few of you will have to help me get back to my TARDIS." Martin nods.

"Of course. I'll go."

"It's too dangerous," Veronica says, holding her hand out to him. Martin smiles softly.

"No matter. Even if I die, I'll be alive as long as the Doctor fixes this." My Nica has no response.

"Then I'll come, too." The Doctor looks at me.

"Excellent. Thank you both."

"Me, too," Veronica squeaks next to me, and I squeeze her arm reassuringly.

"It's alright," I whisper as I kiss the top of her head.

"Not really," she counters. "Everything that could go wrong is going wrong."

"This is for the best." I lie to her and to myself. Sure, this is the best for everyone - except for us.

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We get the rest of our group settled and out of the way. They're safe.

"Let's not tell them. It's just an unnecessary worry for them."

We arm ourselves.

I pull my tattered jacket closer around myself to fight back the cold. Veronica and Martin do the same.

The Doctor stands before us, looking sad.

"I could take you with me."

"What would that mean?" My heart latches onto this last, fleeting hope.

"I'm not sure. I would hope that you three would be able to keep your memories. It's a possibility."

"What are the chances?" The Doctor shrugs.

"I couldn't tell you. I've never done it. But we could try it. Just to see." Veronica nods emphatically.

"Yes, yes! Anything, I'll take it!" She looks at me, her green eyes blazing. "We'll take it." She takes my hand and squeezes.

"I don't want to forget either." Martin shakes his head sadly. "Too much has happened. I've met too many important people." He looks at my Veronica.

"Well, we have to get to the TARDIS first. Let's see what I can do." The Doctor looks slightly hopeful.

We make our stealthy way back through the alleys to get back to our burning building. We avoid a small group of Soldiers that are scouting, ducking into a crumbled store.

Veronica's breath comes out hard. I place a comforting arm around her shoulder, trying to calm her. She's had to remain strong for too long. I hope that we will all finally find peace from this.