Can't Love You {Sequel to "Not Sherlock Holmes"}

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Veronica's POV

When I see Benedict come out of the building, I know. I know.

Several things happen. I stop breathing. My world begins to spin. I only pick up a few things that are happening around me.

The Doctor waking up next to me.

Martin screaming.

Benedict's blank face.

I slowly sink to the ground, pull my legs up to my chest, and wrap my arms around them. Like I'm trying to hold myself together. Not this. Not now. Not after everything.

The Doctor seems to understand what happened, and his face is twisted.

"I'm so sorry."

Joe tries to comfort her father.

Grace cries silently.

Christy comes forward, shock washing over her features.

"My fault. My fault." I hear it murmured over and over again, but I can't tell who's saying it. I don't care anymore.

"You can't blame yourself," comes the Doctor's voice. I still rock in place, eyes fixed to the fire of the building we had called home for the last few months.

"I promised to protect him, and I failed. In every way, I've failed, don't you get that?" I now realize it's Ben speaking. I long to reach out to him and assure him it's not his fault, but I'm lost in my own grief.

"You can't do everything."

"There are a lot of things I could have done if I had been here." He isn't blaming the Doctor. I understand that much. He's tired. It must be exhausting to pretend that things don't hurt for so long. "I missed out on so much. Maybe... maybe if I was here... things would be different."

I look up at him as he runs his fingers through his dark hair. I can't read his face, but I can read his words and his voice.

"Ben," I whisper, and his head whips around. His expression contorts.

"I'm sorry," he sputters, and I shake my head.

"We have to pull ourselves together." It takes all the strength I have to stand and hold my head up. "The Soldiers are still after us." I shove my bleeding heart further into my body. I'll deal with it later.

"She's right," Martin says, gently pushing Joe away. "Let's get moving, everyone. Salvage as many weapons as you can. Let's move." I nod to Martin, showing my appreciation. Before I know it, I'm walking into his arms.

"Things might not be okay right now, but they will be," I whisper. He squeezes me tighter.

"You are the strongest woman I've ever had the pleasure of knowing."

"I love you," is all I can think to say.

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"I shouldn't have left," the Doctor says as we all move to put distance between the Soldiers and us.

"You did what you thought was right," Benedict consoles. His arm is tightly wound around my waist as we move. It's like he's trying to cling to something. I'm not complaining. At this point, he's holding me together.

We are carrying each other.

His other arm is carrying two heavy guns. I could only find the strength to carry a small handgun.

"But if I hadn't left-"

"We're doing a lot of this 'if' stuff," I say slowly. "This was nobody's fault. We are victims. There was nothing that any of us could do."

That seems to shut everyone up. We move quickly down alleys, hoping we'll lose the Soldiers.

We don't have much hope.

"I have an idea. You may not like it. But it seems to be our only other option." We all look at the Doctor. "We should have done it to begin with. I just wasn't sure what you would think."

"Well tell us!" Martin insists. The Doctor thinks a moment.

"I can go back. Make sure that the Lumaros never exist. It would be quite easy. Their origins are simple, and easily dessimated. Thousands of years ago, they aren't as advanced as they are now."

"What's the catch?" Benedict is too smart to think that we could destroy an entire species without consequences. The Doctor looks at all of us sympathetically.

"You won't remember anything. The floods and the earthquakes won't have happened. Anything that happened as a result of this invasion... it won't exist." This begins to sink in.

"But... that means that everyone who has died will still be alive?" Martin looks at all of us.

"Seems a small price to pay," Christy pipes in. She's remained very poised and has kept her composure through all of this. It's quite impressive. But I know that she wants this because it will bring Ian back.

I decide not to remind her that they won't know each other.

Benedict looks at me though.

"We won't remember each other," he whispers, comprehension dawning on his features. I try to grab onto any last hope.

"But I still visit you at 221B. Maybe we'll still be friends." I doubt it.

"None of - this - will happen." His face is blank now, and he gives away nothing.

The Doctor is looking at us, now.

"Yes, a small price to pay," he says slowly, implying that it is not a small price at all.

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"Don't worry. I'll remember. I know I will. And I'll find you again. I promise. We can make things work. I've broken a lot of promises unintentionally, but this one I will keep. I love you, Veronica."