MALEC ONESHOTS!

Saying Goodbye

A/N: Sooooo I'm too lazy to find a good song for this as it's too hard to get a good song for and also I'm too lazy to find a picture so you'll have to make do.

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Magnus felt as though everything he ever knew and loved had been ripped from him. Torn from his chest and crushed in the cruel hand of fate. Everything around his was crumbling. Everyone around him was crumbling.

As for you. Call me.

He was sat in the Institute infirmary, holding Alec's hand. Alec's dying hand. His Alexander was dying and there was nothing he could do about it. He'd tried so hard to make sure he'd taken the fall but there was nothing he could do. Nothing. He was powerless. Helpless.

You have to stop playing hard to get, Alexander. It makes things difficult

Alec let out a heart-wrenching cough followed by a distressed whimper. Magnus felt a single tear slip down his cheek in distress. He couldn't do anything to help his Alexander. He was dying. He was dying because Magnus made one stupid mistake. One mistake that landed Alec here. In the infirmary. Dying. He'd tried every spell he knew and now he was completely drained. Nothing left in him. One small pain reliever and that was it, Magnus would pass out. Magnus had promised himself a long time ago that he'd be by Alec's side when he died and that was followed by a promise to Alec saying that no matter what, if he was drained, he wouldn't use up the last of his magic. Alec made him swear and Magnus would never break that promise, not now, not ever.

I'm tired of watching you be in love with someone else - someone, incidentally, who will never love you back. Not the way I do.

"How is he?" Jace asked, entering the room and startling Magnus. Magnus glanced at him, forcing the tears back.

"There's... I... There's nothing I can do, Jace. You might want to say your goodbyes." Magnus whispered. Jace looked like he'd been shot. He staggered slightly, hand instinctively raising to cover his Parabatai rune. He shook his head violently.

"You're lying!" he screamed. Magnus shook his head, another tear falling. Jace let out a loud sob and fell to his knees. Seconds later, Clary and Izzy ran into the room. Clary ran to Jace, skidding along the floor to hold him. Izzy slowly raised a hand up to her mouth, catching on to the situation.

"No." she breathed, edging her way over to Magnus and sitting down on the side of Alec's bed. She reached over and pushed a piece of hair from the side of Alec's head. She smiled sadly, tears flowing freely. "He wasn't supposed to die like this. He was meant to grow old. Become grey. With you, Magnus. With you." Izzy mumbled. Alec let out another pained noise as if he were listening but Magnus knew he wasn't.

Still, I pictured having you for fifty, sixty more years. I thought I might be ready then to let you go. But it's you, and I realise now that I won't be any more ready to lose you then than I am right now. Which is not at all.

Magnus raised Alec's cold hand to his mouth and pressed a small kiss to the back of it, squeezing his eyes closed in an attempt to not cry. He was Magnus Bane. He wasn't going to cry. He never cried.

But all that was forgotten when he heard Alec whisper his name. Magnus started sobbing with almost the same pain as Jace. Magnus's eyes shot open to look into Alec's blue ones. Magnus begged, pleaded, rationalised, saying that he'd tried everything. Alec smiled in understanding and hushed him. Jace shot over to him, begging for him not to go. Alec just smiled. His eyes closed again and his face tensed for a moment before relaxing.

Aku Cinta Kamu

Jace's scream echoed throughout the Institute. No doubt anyone around heard it and understood. Jace violently shook Alec. It took Izzy's hand on his shoulder to pull him away. Jace turned to her and cried into her shoulder. Izzy was struggling to hold it together too and it was a miracle that Magnus was.

Magnus knew death just as well as death knew him. They were buddies by now. Magnus saw death everywhere he'd turned but it had never hurt this bad before. He'd never felt this pain before. He'd come close with Will but not quite. This topped all. It was like someone had pulled his heart from his chest, shattered it and pushed all remaining parts back into his chest again.

Shaking, Magnus kissed Alec's hand again and it felt like ice against his lips, solidifying his death. Alexander Gideon Lightwood. The one man who'd managed to tear down the walls Magnus had so tenuously built around himself. Tear them down and made him open. Weak. Vulnerable. Magnus stood crying silently and left Jace to cry around family. Magnus exited the room and Maryse and Robert were waiting for him. They looked distraught. For once. Magnus shook his head and left the Institute, Jace's cries haunting his thoughts.

Arriving back at his apartment, Magnus realised what a mistake this was. Alec's clothes were strewn around the apartment, his boots by the door, books placed neatly on the coffee table. Glancing around, Magnus noticed many things he wouldn't have noticed before. The slight dent in his wall from when Alec was pissed and punched it. The neatness of the bookshelf he'd come to live with. The tidiness of the kitchen that Alec had cleaned rigorously.

Magnus let out a loud sob and fell to his knees. Near him was one of Alec's jackets. Magnus reached out for it and grabbed it, inhaling the scent of Alec one last time. There was a distressed mew from the other side of him and Chairman sat, head cocked. Magnus shook his head. "He's gone, Chairman." Magnus cried. Chairman let out a loud meow of sadness like he'd understood what Magnus had said. Magnus had been certain that Chairman could understand him. Chairman climbed onto Magnus, placing his paws on Magnus shoulder's, meowing and nuzzling his face. Magnus wrapped his arms around the cat.

"He's not coming back." he whispered into the cat's face. "He's never coming back."

You're my first of so many things Alec Lightwood.

"And my last."