Trapped Inside Myself SEQUEL

Reporters

I sat in the garden of the hospital like usual with the red roses before me, but it was raining today unlike usual.

"Pretty aren't they?" I new that voice I looked up and couldn't speak, Ezra was there standing beside me with a dull expression on his tired face, he looked ghostly while he stared at the rose.

I didn't reply, I just stared at him with confusion, he looked sick and tired.

"I thought you were too." He chuckled sickly as he looked up at the sky.

"What?" I asked him quietly my voice cracking.

"Yes but then I realized the closer I got the more you'd hurt me, because your just a heartless bitch!" He said laughing maniacally.

I sat strait up in  bed with those words playing over in my mind, i rubbed my head trying to forget the disturbing dream, Blueeyes had spoken those words to me and I would never forget the  pain they caused me... I guess the truth hurts.

I looked over to see it was 3 am.

I groaned, wanting to go back to sleep but knowing I would only be tortured by the confusion dancing in my brain.

I looked at my hand, and traced my fingers over the numbers Roary had written on my palm, I was tempted to call him, but I never was the kind of person to call on a friend, when mentally unstable.

I looked around the room, it was so weird to not see white walls, and I loved it.

Calvin must have been sleeping on the couch, so I got up and into my wheels chair, and pushed myself over to the desk , I was really hoping he wasn't as clean as he appeared to be, maybe just maybe if I looked I'd find some mind altering substance.

I couldn't find a thing, I was happy with my brother for staying clean but unimpressed that I couldn't find a cure for my need of a fix, something, anything, I new I wouldn't be able to reach the cabinet that had Advil or other drugs from my wheeled chair, so I just sat there thinking of any way possible I could distract my mind or numb my feelings.

Then I moved to the bathroom and opened every cabinet and cupboard in reach looking for anything, and then I found a a bottle, I opened it and chugged the cough syrup letting the drugs set in finally finding a minor fix as I wheeled myself back into Calvins room, I then opened the window and sat there looking outside as car lights flashed in my vision enjoying myself as I was high on cough medicine, while a summer storm brewed in my head.

I couldn't even remember the first time I got high at this point.

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I heard Barbra, Emma, and Calvin talking about me as I quietly wheeled closer to the kitchen, I didn't like to eavesdrop for no reason so I made my planned entrance.
"I'm ready to go to school."  I said and as I expected everyone's heads snapped to me, I kept my gaze fixed a head of me making sure to keep everyone indirectly in view as I ignored them.
While they have me the same look I have became so used to, your actually crazy look, I remembered how all the nurses and patients would just tell me to accept my 'issues' as they called it.

"You don't have to do this." Barbra said taking a step over to me. "No one is making you do this." I new her point, but I missed having a safe planned life and now that I was out of Morriston mental hospital, I planned to push myself and do the unexpected like before.