Sleeping Awake

That moment. That terrifying moment when the realiseation hits you, your going to die. Lying there On my own bedroom floor, the thick toxic smoke of the fire filling my lungs as i gasp for breath, going cold as death begins to take over. I cant breathe, I cant think. My only thought's are that I have to get out; and fast. But I cant.  And Just as I feel the last drop's of life slipping from my body, somebody stands over me. Dark hair, pale skin, piercing blue eyes. The same eyes im sure ive seen before, I just dont know where...

I scream, and I mean scream, as I wake up from the nightmare thats been haunting me for month's. Yet my dream always ends with that same boy. The same boy that I swear I have seen in my real life. I dont know why I Keep having it. but then again, I havent known what's been going on in my life for month's now. I lie back down, still heavily breatheing and sweating all over, hoping to forget about the nightmare - and the boy.

When I wake up in the morning, I realise just how little sleep id got. After id waken up from the dream, I had pretty much tossed and turned for the rest of the night, grabbing in a few minutes of sleep here and there, and now, I was feeling the full affects of it.

''How did you sleep?''  my brother Nathan calls whilst washing up our breakfast plates. ''fine'' I lie, not wanting to tell my brother about the nightmares that have pretty much haunted me for the last 4 months.

''Well, your talkative'' Nathan replies, '' are you just going to never talk to me again or are you actually going to at least try to make conversation?''

I look up from my history book. Realising just how much of a bitch ive been to him lately. I love my brother, I really do, but ever since the death of our parents, I havent really spoken to him much.

''ive gotta go to school'' I mutter, grabbing my car keys and rushing out the door before he can even say 'bye'.

Ever since the fire that killed out parents, I have been pretty much the moodiest, bitchiest and most selfish 16 year old in the history of America; and that is no lie. The weirdest thing is, I should've died in that fire too. In fact, no one even knows how im alive. On top of that; I cant remeber a thing that happened. One minute i was screaming for help, my lungs filling with thick toxic smoke, and the next... nothing. I wake up in hospital, barely alive, with no idea of what had happened and how id got out. I dont even remember passing out...I had been found on the green outside my house, and even now, no one knows who saved me from the fire, not even my own brother.

My brother has been going through countless legal battles to become my legal gaurdian, after the court decided it may be best for me to go into care, my brother has stopped at nothing to ensure we stay together; and it has pretty much turned both mine and his lifes upside down. Now, here I was, at a new school. In a new city. With new friends and pretty much nobody to talk to.Great.