Sleeping Awake

Chapter 15

My life felt like it was spiralling out of control.

Well, ok that was a little dramatic, But what happened with Callan had completely ripped my heart to pieces. I was crushed.

Every time I thought of him, my stomach would practically flip, and i'd feel the tears pricking in my eyes.

It had only been, hours maybe? since he had said all that crap. I was angry, but When he had looked at me like that, I could see in his eyes that he was telling the truth. And it terrified me.

If it wasn't true, then how would he know all of that stuff? How would he know that I nearly died in a fire and was pulled out onto the street. When I was stirring in and out of consciousness, I could taste blood in my mouth. Was it possible that had been his blood?

It made me sick to think about it.

I've layed in bed ever since I got home. Im glad Nathan had already gone to work. How would I explain being out all night, and then coming home in tear's in a man's shirt and no bottoms. 

That would have been awkward.

I couldn't stop crying. God it was killing me. My stomach physically hurt form the tears, and i had 15 missed calls from Callan, and 8 voice mails, in the space of 3 hours. He must have been worried.

I probably should call him back. But right now I just wanted to forget everything he had said and pretend none of this had ever happened.

If only it were that simple.

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''Hello?'' I must have been day dreaming cause I realise that there is someone at the door. They must have been there a while, cause they started saying 'hello' through the letter box.

Great. Company.

''Just a second!'' I shout, grabbing a dressing gown and putting it on, not wanting to answer the door still in underwear and a shirt.

When I open the door, I'm met by one of the hottest smirks I have even seen. It belonged to Brad.

''Hey, Alessia, your brother asked me to come and sit with you for a while, he is gonna be home late and felt bad that you were here on your own, that's ok, right?'' he asks, and that voice would normally make me fall at his knee's. 

But not today.

''Oh, well, that's erm, very sweet of you. But its really not necessary. I mean, i'm 16, i'm sure I can stay here my myself for a few hours...'' I stutter, not wanting him to feel bad, but certainly not wanting company.

 He look's at me. I mean really looks at me. In a very... intimate way that sends shivers down my spine, yet also makes me feel extremely uncomfortable.

''Oh its no problem. I enjoy spending time with you, your cute'' He chuckles, pinching my nose and walking in the house. I just sigh, knowing there is no way of convincing him, and slam the door - probably a little harder than was needed.

I walk, well, stomp into the kitchen, as he sits on the sofa and watches TV. 

''Do you want some tea??'' I ask, flicking on the kettle.

''Yeah, sure, 2 sugars, and only a little milk please'' he says, smiling at me and turning back around.

I roll my eyes, grabbing to mugs from the cupboard and settling them on the side.

After ive made the tea, I walk over and hand one to  Brad, plonking down next to him on the sofa and sighing.

''What's up with you?'' he asks, looking genuinely interested.

''Oh, nothing...'' I mutter, trailing of.

''Don't give me that. I know when there is something wrong, and in this case there certainly is, so, talk to me''

I wanted to tell him. But I couldn't, not really.

He'd think i was mad...

''You wouldnt understand''

''try me''

''Well, lets just say im 16 and just broke up with my boyfriend, so im in that 'Ben and jerry's my best friend' stage...''

''Say no more'' he sings, running to the freezer and grabbing a giant pot of choclate brownie ice- cream and 2 spoons.

''Im the best at making people feel better after they have had their heart broken'' he grins, winking at me and  sitting close to me on the sofa.

We  sat for 2 hours. Watching my favourite film,  p.s I love you, and munching our hearts out on ice-cream. Well, I ate, he kind of pushed it around on his spoon, pretending to eat it.

''Well, that was the absolute shittest film IVE ever watched in my life. ever'' Brad smirks, and I punch him in the arm.

''It werent that bad! And for the record, I love it'' i say, feeling my heart skip a beat when he gives me the fullest smile.

''Ah, iIsuppose. If it mad you happy then im all for it''

''Shup. Your such a man whore'' I laugh, and he just chuckles.

''Well, your kinda right there! Alessia, can I ask you something?''

''Sure'' i mumble, my mouth full of brownie ice cream.

''Could i take you out some time''

I almost choke. I mean, he's funny, kind and helps me forget about Callan. But Ive just broken up with Callan, and he knew that! what was he playing at!?

''Erm well, I just broke up with someone, so now's not really a good time...'' I trail off, feeling bad when his face drops and he looks kind of beaten down.

''Oh, sure. Another time maybe...'' He mumbles

''Sure, another time. Just not right now''

We sit there in awkward silence. He just stares of into space, almost oblivious to me even being there. 

''Well, ive got to go'' he says, jumping up and heading fot the door.

I stand up and grab his hand, pulling him back to me.

He looks me in the eye,and that weird feeling comes over me again. That feeling when I can't look away. I break the stare, getting out just before I'm completely transfixed. I still wasn't sure why that even happened.

''Look Brad, I like you, I really do. But now's not the time. I just dont want things to be awakward between  us'' 

He looks at me, lifting my chin so im looking up at him. Then he kisses me. 

At frist i kiss back. It made me feel.. good. But  then I realise. What was I doing? I still loved Callan. 

I push him back with some much force he has to steady himself on the door frame.

''What the hell was that!? Did you not just listen to me? I cant believe you!'' I scream. attempting to slam the front door and lock him outside.He stops me by putting his foot in front of it.

''Oh, you really shouldn't of done that, sweetie '' He growls, stroking my chin, smirking and walking of.

With in seconds he is out of sight. I just stand there, touching my lips, still feeling the heat from where he had had kissed me. And feeling confused by his words.

Shouldn't have done that? What...

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I spend the rest of the night in my room crying. God, my life was complicated for a 16 year old. Boy's, how I hated them. Maybe I should just become a lesbian or something, life would be soooo much easier...

Wait - scrap that. I like men to much.

If it wasn't bad enough that Callan and i had... Fallen out, but Brad just made it 10 times worse!

Dear god, kill me now.