this is me.

March 21, 2014

So uhm yesterday was our graduation (yes im a grade school graduate yay) today was our farewell party of our class (Happy day! ♥)

Yeah like that. Right now, i'm chatting with someone i kinda trust. Since she's online and my other trusted peeps aren't, might as well chat with her (:

uhm basically i'm telling her everything. yeah. right now.

uhm so im updating to just like tell you what i think of before sleeping.

~

I cry because one of my best friends left to go to Australia (Alex) to live there with her mom. Our group of best friends... our group has shattered. separated.

I cry because I'm like the ugliest girl in this world. I have scars on my legs & arms. I didn't basically make them. They aren't scars of self-harm. Well some. (camouflage lol) I have a scar on my face, on my upper lip until my nose. 

I cry because I'm not good enough.

I cry because everyone I tried to please to stay have already packed up their things to leave.

I cry because my dad, he's not the kind of father everyone has. He doesn't hit us, though. But, he sells some of our stuff (without permission) to buy cigarettes & beer.

I cry because I'm always rejected.

I cry because I always get judged.

I cry because my friend has told the person I like what I felt even if I told not to.

I cry because I'm frustrated.

I cry because my life is messed up

I cry because the whole world is falling apart in front of my eyes.

I cry because I have no way, not even up.

I cry because I know I'll never be loved.

I cry because I can't take enough, yet I have to. 

I cry because I've already lost myself.

I cry because my past hunts me.

The list could go on. (I'll continue when there's a new reason)