Desperate ~ Calum Hood (au)

0.4

Shannel
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Frustrated with Calum and at herself for not being successful for the night, she searched the streets for a place to stay. Counting the money she had left from pawning the gold ring this morning she realised she had enough for one night in a hotel, with a little more to take her through to tomorrow but not enough for her to live off.

So she went looking, asking around a couple of times pretending to be someone rich, which for her was far out of character.

Eventually when the time was a little over 11:30pm she came across a hotel inn after walking for what seemed like forever. She headed to the front desk and booked the cheapest room for the night, costing her one hundred and thirty nine pounds, leaving her with a little over two hundred left.She trudged up to the room on the third floor and stepped inside, finding it weird to be alone for the night.

She sighed before making her way to the bathroom of the hotel room where she was in desperate need of a wash. Plugging up the drain to the bath and turning on the hot water she began to strip of her few layers of clothing before stepping into the bath and scrubbing at her skin with the complimentary soap.

The dirt of her body immediately began changing the water of the bath. She hadn't washed in almost two weeks, never having enough money to do so and never meeting a man that allowed her to do so. She rested her head on the edge of the tub as she lay there in her dirt, never being able to feel clean regardless of what she did.

She couldn't help but think about Calum and why he had decided to step in, though he was disgusted with her. She confused him in more ways than one.

She knew nothing of his band, therefore not knowing that he was famous and relatively rich. To her he was just a good looking boy that she thought she may at least be able to enjoy while he took what he wanted from her, he looked around her age and was very handsome which is something she couldn't say about all the other men she had done business with.

In the silence of the hotel room she allowed herself to cry, something she would end up doing when she was alone which is why she hated loneliness so much. She knew that if she continued to live alone she would end up driving herself to the ends of her debts and would most probably end up taking her own life.

She had thought about it, more than once. She even attempted it a couple of times. When people attempt to kill themselves they are normally stopped by the thought of all those around them mourning for them, crying for them and yearning for them, but Shannel knew that for her it simply wasn't true. Nobody would cry for her, mourn for her and yearn for her because there was nobody out there who loved her, which is something that she had always wanted.

All she had ever known was that love never came to her unless she sold it, but even then she knew it wasn't real. It wasn't the love you see in movies, the clichè styles when the couple fall in love and live happily ever after with not a problem or care in the world. She only wished she could meet someone who would look past this life that she had created for herself, someone who could kiss the pain away and be there when she cried. Somebody who would lover her and be there when she woke up the next morning, someone she could call hers.

But she knew all to well that wishes never came true.

After soaking in her misery she covered herself with one of the hotel towels and tied her hair up. She washed the only undergarments she had in the bathroom sink and set them on the radiator to dry, before hanging up the only piece of clothing she had behind the door ready for the morning leaving her with nothing to wear for the night.

After drying herself with the towel and drying her hair as much as possible, she threw it in the corner of the room, before grabbing a second towel and wrapping it around her body as a substitute for pyjamas.

Crawling under the thin hotel sheets she began to think, to wander about her life, trying to imagine what it would've been like to be a normal girl, to have friends, money, a boyfriend.

She struggled to sleep with her thoughts and memories haunting her, therefore forcing her to become an insomniac unwilling to sleep, with the fear of someone entering her hotel room frightening her. So she lay there, wide awake, staring out at the London sky through the small window to the right side of the room, watching the stars glisten and glow wondering if any of them held onto the one wish she had always asked for.

Her eyes caught a shooting star, as it flew across the sky. Though she knew it was pointless and silly she did it anyway. She closed her eyes and made a wish, the same wish that she always made day after day.

She wished to be loved.

~~~~~~

IF YOU THINK THIS IS CLICHÉ YOUR SO VERY WRONG !

I'M NOT ALWAYS A FAN OF HAPPY ENDINGS

-S