99 days gone (merome)

Day thirty nine & fourty

-day thirty nine & forty-

I laid in bed practically all day these days, except for around the end of the fortieth day. I was walking to the store to pick up some cereal when I came across one of our fans, or should I say your fans. she asked if I was Jerome and I said yes and she told me these words exactly, I remember them because I keep repeating them over and over in my head "Jerome I can't believe you! your the reason he died! your his best friend you could of stopped it! but noo, your head was to far shoved up lousies ass to realize that he was hurt! he loved you and it was pretty obvious! you deserve to die! why don't you go kill yourself! kill your self like you made Mitch kill himself! go die Jerome! it's all your fault!" I turn around and ran home bawling. I ran into your room and buried myself into your pillows and blankets and cried hysterically. I realized at that moment that she was right. I needed to die because I deserved it not to be with you. I needed to die because I'm a self centered brat who doesn't even notice when his best friend is falling apart! I'm so sorry biggums I love you. I eventually cry myself to sleep. don't worry biggums I will cope.