Pregnant In The Quarter Quell

Chapter 3

"Have sex with me, Peeta."

He seems to be shocked by my words. I don't blame him...Even I am. But it doesn't change the fact that I want him so bad. I have an aching urge to feel him inside me.

"Are you sure about this, Katniss?" He asks, biting his lip. His hand caresses my thigh and  I move closer to him.

"I want to go all the way with you, Peeta." I whisper into his ear, my hand trailing down his back. I sit back, looking to his eyes, and I suddenly feel embarrassed. "U–Unless you don't want to then–"

"No, no, no." He says, chuckling softly. "Of course I want to have sex with you, Katniss, it's just...I feel like I've been dreaming of this moment for years and now that it's here, I don't know what to do. I–I'm nervous."

"Just kiss me." I say moments before smashing my lips against his. We pull apart, and I look down towards his pants.

"So, do you want these off?"

The memories flow through my mind over and over, driving me insane. Pregnant? There's no way. I can't be pregnant! But I can. The timing makes perfect sense.

The words I spoke that night are echoing through my mind over and over again. I'm too young. I can barely take care of myself, let alone a child.

That's when I remember the Quell. I realize that I will never live to even give birth to this child, let alone raise it, and it completely breaks me.

I tremble, tears forming in the corners of my eyes. I don't know what to do or say. I feel my knees becoming wobbly and I fall to the ground in a pool of sobs, my mother sitting next to me and handing me a tissue. She rubs my back softly, and I hear Prim trudge down the stairs.

"Katniss?" She asks confusedly, sitting next to me and wrapping her arms around me. I cry into my little sister's shoulder, feeling like a child. Truly, though, that's what I am. I'm still a kid. I'm seventeen years old, and I'm pregnant. I'm seventeen years old and I'm going into the hunger games a second time.

I gather myself, staring up towards Prim. My mother and I exchange a glance, her blue eyes filled with tears. I know she's trying to stay strong. She has to. I'll be dead soon.

"Prim, I–" I whisper, not knowing how to talk. "I'm um...I'm pregnant. I'm carrying Peeta's child." Her face turns from stunned to sad in an instant. Because at a time like this, the Quell is the last thing on my mind...but it should be the first.

She doesn't say anything. Instead she embraced me in a hug. My mother joins, and we stay there for a long time. This is one of the last times I'll feel their warm touch. Prim pulls away, placing her hands on my shoulders. "You have to win. For you, for me, for mom, for Peeta, and for the baby."

+++

I can't explain how much I want to avoid Peeta. If I never had to see him again, I'd be okay with it. It's not because of Peeta himself, but it's because of what I must tell him. I've thought of a million ways that I could avoid telling him, but I have to do what's right. He has to know.

I walk slowly towards his house, my hand rested firmly on my abdomen. Under my skin is a baby. It may not be a baby yet, but there is life growing inside of me.

My footsteps can't seem to go any slower, because before I know it, I'm on Peeta's porch, bringing my shaky fist slowly towards the door. I knock once, losing energy and becoming terrified. I lean my head against the door, tears forming in my eyes. I can't do this. I'm not strong enough.

I hear Peeta's heavy footsteps coming towards the door. I know he was waiting intently for me. As he toggles with the handle and the door creaks open, I look up towards him. He gives me a slight grin, but I don't acknowledge it. Instead, I fall into his arms, letting out a short sob.

"Katniss, what's wrong? What's going on?" He asks, holding me close as I cry into his chest. He rubs my back softly, shushing me quietly. "What's on your mind, Katniss?"

I don't know how to tell him. I know he'll be devastated. I know he'll be angry with me for not being careful–for being stupid and reckless. I pause for a moment, staring up at him. It's almost impossible to look him in the eyes. I choke back tears, standing up.

"C–can we go to bed?" I ask softly, not wanting to eat, not wanting to speak. I don't think I have the guts to tell him. I don't have the ability to tell him.

But as he walks me up towards his bedroom, caring for me and helping me, I know I'd be terrible to keep it from him. Because if I'm going back in the games and he's going to see me die, I should die honestly. I should die not keeping anything from him because truly, Peeta is the closest I'll ever come to a love.

I have to crush him. Peeta...sweet, caring, perfect Peeta. I have to crush him.

I sit down on the bed slowly, his eyes fixated on me. "I have to tell you something." I whisper faintly, reaching my hand out. He grasps it, holding it tightly.

"What's wrong? Are you sick?" He asks.  I shake my head.

"No, I'm not sick. I'm..." I let out a short breath, closing my eyes. "I'm pregnant, Peeta. I'm pregnant and the baby is yours."