THE SECRETS- I share with a Vampire

4. Negotiations and Fights

I was sitting on the kitchen table, staring at a man who was killing the juicer with the amount of force he was using to turn the settings. He glared at the swirling milk inside the container while I was waiting for him to say something to me.

I told him we could talk like professionals and see how this entire mess can be turned to our convenience. But he is dead on believing that I'm a monster thrown at him to ruin his life. He called me a threat to his freedom. I let him complain until he thought it was enough. I did put him in a tough situation where I cannot let him go if I intended to have a roof above my head. I had to continue with my I'm-calling-the-police facade to make sure he won't leave me and go. But I guess that means I have to hear his constant cussing. I hate his bloody sarcasm and stingy statements.

"Do you want me to make you a glass of cold coffee too, Sweety?"

Umm...This is what I meant.

"Only if it is not poisoned"

He gave a low laugh, "How can a loving husband poison his gorgeous wife?"

I guess I'll take that 'gorgeous' as a compliment and ignore the rest of it.

I did not ask him to fight the 'Great battle of Valor' for me, did I? I asked him to stay in my apartment even if I hated the scent of men to make sure I have a place to call my home. He just have to shut up and stay in the comfort of this place! 

"Your college must have dorms, right? Why don't you check into one?"

Ha-ha.

"I'm a drop out"

He stared at me open-mouthed, his hands up in the air. He must be thinking I'm a total waste of life. His stare turned to a glare and his lips turned into a thin line and he folded his hands to his chest.

"Stay with your parents then"

Easy for him to say. It is easy for every freaking person on the planet to suggest about how to live. If they were such good, mature and reasonable people, why can't they deal with the shit in their own lives? Why do they have to poke their fingers into the lives of other women who seem to be having a tough time dealing with a disaster they call their life?

All these judgmental men deserve death! They have no right to decide for others. They think they know everything about the world. They think what they say is the ultimate truth and no one has to question it. Why not? Don't they ever commit mistakes? Is it the woman who always has to be the one taking the blame for everything a man does? It feels like the universe runs against us, trying to defame us in everything we tend to do. Only because we lack a penis!

"You okay?"

I was caught off-guard. I had all those painful memories in my head and I did not see him approach. I thought he was still by the juicer. My senses snapped back and I pushed him away, hard. It didn't feel like Sean coming close to me. It felt like him coming close to me. I don't want to stay anywhere near him.

"I'm sorry. I did not mean to..."

Right. I overreacted.

" Sean... I was...forget it"

He smiled hesitantly, "I didn't mean to bring up bad memories"

Well, you did.

"I'm an orphan. I do not have parents to go back to."

"Oh"

I guess he did not know what else to say. I felt guilty for pushing him so hard. He is innocent. He didn't know the darkness that lurked in my soul and the things I had done to land up in this place, far away from my house. I am a terrible person for what I had done in the past. Even more terrible because I don't feel guilty about it. But I let the alcohol and drugs wash away the pain from my body. They prevent it from resurfacing and swallowing me completely. They were my friends and saviors.