Sad boy.

I'm not exactly sure anymore.

I lost someone really important in my life, the only thing in my life which regardless of how sad he made me brought joy to my life, I didn't want to believe the idea of us not being together, I wish it was all a nightmare, I wish he hadn't felt the way he did, I wish I hadn't asked for a break, I do I really do, but I doubt even me begging to whoever is above to bring him back won't do much, I really do love him, and he said sorry, but I don't want him to be and I know hes not, cause he thinks it's the best for me, but it's not I want to love him and only him, but he doesn't want whatever we used to have, I lost the only thing in my life that gave me happiness, and I don't know how I can manage to love someone else when I can't even love him, I just I wish I hadn't started all of this, cause in the end it wasn't losing him, none of it was.

I guess now in a way
My heart feels empty
Black
But in the darkness I can see the flames of that fire
That keeps me warm at night

Maybe all along I just kept looking for love in all the wrong places, it hurts though cause I was so sure we would have a future, I was so sure we'd be together, I was sure maybe one day we'd go to prom together, I really really wanted this to be true I needed it to be true, he was so much of everything I never was.

I feel so ugly why am I not good enough for any guys

I'm drowning in my own mess I caused
I built a dam to block the feelings I knew all too well
To keep things running smoothly
To stay in love with you
And when the dams fell
Everything flooded out
And I began to drown
I began to drown in my own feelings I kept harbored up for so long
And it hurts cause it seems like no ones there and no one is listening
And at the same time I don't know who to trust and who to love and what to feel about anything
I just
I wish this all wouldn't have happened

I did find someone better but only cause you let me
I would have never have met him if it wasn't for you leaving me
I'm not in love with you anymore
I love you just not the way I used to
I've moved on
And though me and him arnt perfect
We have hope that we will be better for eachother then any of our previous exs
I'm sorry you left because we could've been so much but you left now
And I can't do anything about that
I'm sorry but bye.

It's weird how lonely and cold it feels without you here

It's forever sad that the sun never rose in the sky with the brilliance of a thousand rays, to darken the abyss that is my soul.

I don't know why but I had the weirdest thought today about me and you. We weren't together but I was walking at school, summer school. I saw you, you were walking from the music class towards the D building, I was holding books and I was happy when I saw you kinda like my heart had an adrenaline rush, i was gonna talk to you, but before I could you reached up to this girl and kissed her on the lips, and you guys stayed kissing until the day dream was over, and all of the sudden my heart broke, and my eyes became full of tears, I don't know why I've been fine but I guess it was the thought of losing you or you moving on that really broke me, I still love you, I just I'm not sure about anything. I remember I dropped the books I was holding and I bent down to pick them up trying to conceal the fact I was wiping away tears, I know it's my fault, I just I didn't understand why it hurt so much.

It's such a strange place to be in my life
The worlds moving on faster then my life is
And I love people but it's here then it's there then it's gone
There's people that come and people that go
I guess that's life
If only my memories would let me forget