Homophobia

Chapter 1

This could occur in any situation. This is all made up by me. Every person. Every element and every part of what is happening.

*.*.*.*.

Today is my birthday! I am turning eighteen. Finally! I just can't wait. Everyone is coming! My parents allowed me to get some drinks and horror movies for tonight. I hope I can scare the shit out of Naomi. She deserves it. 

No just kidding. I love Naomi, she's my best friend ever since grade six. I was playing alone and building a sandcastle and she saw me and started helping. Since then we have been inseparable. She's has been supporting me ever since and vice versa. We share everything, including crushes. 

She now has a boyfriend, but it took a while for her to go talk to him. He's a friend of me, that helped a lot. I practically forced them to meet and talk. Yep, thanks to me they're in a relationship. She's thanked me and she even gave a kiss on the cheek! Haha, crazy girl.

Sadly he couldn't come tonight. Jason said he was busy. I wish he could come. He's the funny guy and without him we only have Dan. He's funny too, but not as Jason. 

The door bell rings and I run down the stairs. My parents aren't home, but I promised not to smash the place. We are just going to drink a few beers or shots and watch horror movies. That's it.

It's Naomi. I open the door with a smile and she laughs at me. I give her a quick hug and she hugs me back.

'It has been so long!' I say and she nods. I step aside to let he through and she walks in. She's used to my house. She comes here often.

'Yes indeed Chad! Sadly I needed to go on holidays and you too,' she says and she kicks her shoes off. She's wearing her black skinny jeans and a blue tank top. Her blonde hair looks good with her beanie. She looks amazing.

'You look amazing Naomi,' I say and she smiles at me.

'You don't look bad yourself too.' I look at my outfit. I am just wearing jeans with a black shirt and sneakers. Nothing special.

'Jason couldn't come tonight,' I say while we walk towards the living room. She grimaces.

'Yeah he told me. I miss him. But I hope he has fun with his parents.' Jason is going to Madrid for a weekend with his parents. He was super excited for it when he told me and I was so jealous. I've always wanted to go to Spain. The language is interesting and lovely and the people are nice, they say. But I'd rather go to Barcelona.

'When does the rest come? And are those... horror movies?' she asks aghast and I smirk.

'Fuck you Chad! Why horror? Why not sappy love movies or something?' she says and I laugh.

'You can cry at my shoulder dear,' I say and she shakes her head in disbelieve.

'Asshole,' she mumbles and she sits down in a chair.

'They will be here soon. You'll not be alone with my anymore.' I wink and she can't hold her laughter. The bell rings again and I stand up to open it.

My friends all came, except Jason, and I greet them with a smile.

'Hey Chad! Long time no see!' Dan calls and I laugh. They all come in and I accompany them to the living room, where they meet a smirking Naomi. Everyone says hi and no one is surprised to see her. It is no secret we have been friends for a long time. It is also no secret that people used to think we are in a relationship. Until she got a boyfriend.

'Your hair looks lovely Chad,' Anna says. Trying to flirt again. I don't like her.

'Anna can I talk to you for a moment?' I say and she smiles and nods. I take her with me to the kitchen and sit on the table. She stands in front of me and glances at me.

'Anna, you don't want to hear this, but... I really, really-' Before I can finish I feel her lips pressed on mine and I can't move for a second. Then I remember where my hands are and I push her softly away.

'Anna, Anna, I don't like you. I like someone else,' I say and she looks ashamed and offended. I don't laugh at her. She's made a mistake, who cares? This isn't really awkward.

'I-I am sorry. I didn't know.' I see her eyes filling with tears and I take her in a hug. I strike my hand over her hair and she sniffs against my chest. She's really small. 

'Don't worry. I won't tell anyone, okay?' I say and she nods. I think we are okay now. 

'I am really sorry. I just like you so much. I can't help it.' I feel sorry for her. She's a lovely girl and funny and amazing and stylish, but I still don't like her. Not the way she wants me to.

'Can we be friends?' she suggests and I send her a smile.

'Of course! Why not? You are a lovely girl Anna,' I say and I step back. She knows I don't mean it the way she wants me to, but she still smiles. I feel bad for her. But I can't help myself for not liking her, right?

'Chad? Hello? Where are you?' I hear Naomi calling me from the living room and I open the kitchen door and walk towards my friends. Anna follows me and she looks normal.

'What were you guys doing in there?' Dan asks and I shrug.

'Just talking, nothing more.' Anna saves me from an awkward moment and I send her a smile. But when I look at ther faces I see their smirkes and I know they don't believe me.

'I have horror movies and drinks?' I say and I hear them laughing and agreeing with one another to watch and drink. I just laugh and put on a movie. I don't even pay attention which one it is. Apperently it is a scary one because everyone is constantly screaming. Not me. I just drink my beer and stare at that one person I really do like. 

To be honest. It's not even a girl. It's a boy. I am gay. Yes I wish it was different, I didn't choose to be gay. I didn't want this. I don't want to be attracted to the same gender. I have hated myself for it. I still haven't told anyone. Not even Naomi. I don't think she'll support it. But I have a bigger problem.

The one guy I like is Dan. One of my best friends.

*.*.*.*.

I gave all the characters a name to make it easier for myself and other people who read this. Don't take any name personal.

Thank you, 

-Jenna, xx