Homophobia

Chapter 2

The night goes on. It's fun, really. Everyone is a little bit buzzed and being funny. Except me. I really don't feel like drinking something. I just finished my first beer.

'Guys! Guys! Let's play truth or dare!' Anna calls out. Oh gosh we all know this is going to end bad. In stories it always does, so why not here? Would be logical. This kind of games never have a happy ending. Always crying and fighting and such.

'Yeah!' everyone yells and I sigh. No one notices, luckily.

'Truth or dare... Dan!' Anna says and I look up. He laughs and his one dimple shows. He has brown messy hair and blue eyes. Normal clothes. Black jeans and white shirt. He's wearing Vans and he looks so hot in those clothes. I am staring aren't I? 

I quickly look away and watch Naomi. She leans against the wall and stares at nothing. Probably thinking of Jason.

'Truth it is!' Dan says and I smile at his happy voice. He's not really drunk. But he's just having fun. You can have fun without being smashed.

'Who was your first kiss?' she asks and everyone is silent. He blushes and it is one of the cutest things I have ever seen. I really need to stop that. I can't think like that. 

'I dunno anymore,' he says and I have a feeling he is lying. But I don't say anything. He send him a look and meet his eyes. He looks worried and I look confused. He then looks away and shakes his head to himself. I don't know why. Probably overthinking something.

'Dan you need to pick someone.' He looks up and I don't know who his choice is going to be, but I hope it isn't me.

'Naomi, truth or dare?' he asks and I sigh. 

'Dare!' she says happily and I like to see her that way. She looks lovely and Jason is a lucky man.

'Take a shot of beer,' he says lazily and everyone laughs. Including me. She's terrible at taking shots. 

She takes a glass and pours some beer in is. It looks awful and I am sorry that she needs to drink that. But she still does. She takes the glass and holds in her breath. Than she drinks and everyone bawls. When she finishes it she's coughing, but she doesn't throw up. 

'Truth or dare... Chad!' she says and I sigh again. Oh jeez.

'Truth,' I say and everyone protests, telling me to choose dare. Naomi smiles evil and I think I have no other choice.

'Fine than! Dare!' I say and everyone laughs. Gosh Naomi please don't do anything embarrasing.

'Okay lets see... Chad I dare you to... kiss Dan!' Fuck! Why Dan? Why kissing? Why, why, why?

Dans eyes widen, but he doesn't say anything. I really feel something inside me. The urge to kiss him maybe? But I don't want to. I hate to kiss him, here in front of our friends. And he doesn't like me after al.

'Kiss! Kiss Kiss!' everyone yells and I shake my head. 

'Guys I am not kissing a boy!' I say and I feel a sting inside of me. Dans eyes narrow and I send him a confused look. He shrugs and I am surpised. Hands push me to Dan and I just let them. I don't know what else to do. I feel weird. It's a mix of feelings. 

'Do it Chad!' Everyone laughs except Anna. She just sits there. I know she hates this. But her look makes me want to kiss him even more. I look at him and he lightly shivers. This is not the first time I kiss a boy. But no one knew of my first kiss. No one knows I have ever kissed someone.

'Chad for fucks sake, do it,' Naomi says and finally give in. I don't know why not. Everyone is half drunk except me and I think Dan. I don't think anyone will remember. I hope so.

I lean in and don't close my eyes. Everyone stops talking and there is this awkward silece, before I kiss him. It's just a two second kiss, but it's enough. I feel warmth inside of me. But I still pull back. Only for Dans sake. I don't want to make someone suspicious.

He shakes his head and I tell everyone it's time to leave. They all make sad sounds, but it really is time. It's over twelf and I promised my father and mother midnight. Luckily there is no real damage. Only one spilled drink on the table made of glass.

'I'll see you around Chad,' Naomi says and she and the rest leave. I am alone again. I walk back to the living room to see Dan sitting there, staring outside of the window.

'Dan, don't you have to leave?' I ask and he turns around. He looks at me with an expression I can't name.

'Chad... about that kiss...' I shake my head and pat his back.

'It's nothing. Lets just forget about it right? It wasn't real.' I say it with pain, but I say it. I know it means something to me, but who cares. 

'Yes, it wasn't real,' he says and he grabs his jacket. I say nothing and watch him leave. I watch the one I like leave. 

'Bye Dan,' I mumble as his car rides away. I really don't know what to do next. But this evening didn't end in that big of a drama, right? No fights or crying people. Only one heartbroken boy, but no one cares and no ones know. 

I should be fine, but really, I am not.

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