Loyalty Or Honour (Book 3)

Chapter Forty Two

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"Princess Arabella?"

She hurriedly wipes away her tears. Only once she has collected herself together does she turn. The sympathetic understanding look she receives is almost enough for her to start weeping again. With a great struggle the tears stay within their ducts.

Miss Litt glides across to her and picks up a silk handkerchief. She dabs Arabella's cheeks dry for her in a motherly fashion. "You are allowed these moments in private. Never forget that or this position will make you cold and heartless."

"Did you know?" Arabella asks almost silently. Mary nods, her lips pursed. "He did not deserve to die. He was too young. I could have happily lived my life by Theodore's side knowing he was out there and that sparks exist. I wanted him to be happy, to find someone who would allow their self to love him. He would have been so easy to love." The words pour from her heart unchecked.

Mary listens and allows her to continue. She gently brushes Arabella's hair, the action calming for the both of them.

"He would have gotten bored of me. I had to protect myself...but what if..." she stops, eyes widening and Mary shakes her head.

"You voice that thought and you will never get it out of your head." She firmly tells her.

"What if I had called off the engagement? Would he still be alive? Could we have been happy?" The words fly despite the warning. Mary's intake of breath is audible.

"Never say those words again! The past cannot be changed. You simply may have brought another death upon his head, one that would be your fault!" She rushes to say.

Arabella's head drops down; grief makes it ever so heavy alongside the reprimand.

"You did not love him but I know that you cared a great deal. Do not sully his memory with what ifs. You are married now and a princess no less. Be honest and true to your husband even in thoughts." She advises more gently now.

"Princess," They both jump a little, startled by the sudden intrusion. They relax at the sight of Beatrice. "Now that you are married I have come to request that my position with you be terminated." She coolly says.

"You do not wish to be one of my companions any longer? Please tell me, have I done something to offend you? Surely whatever it is we can put it to rights. I do not want to lose your good and loyal friendship. Please, what can I do to change your mind? I will need you and Mary even more than ever in the times ahead." Arabella entreats her.

Beatrice pales to the point where Mary nervously hovers nearby over fear she may be sick or faint dead away. "Beatrice." Mary says her name to provoke a verbal response.

"There is nothing that can be done. Do I have your permission, my princess?" Beatrice manages.

"What has changed Beatrice? We are in private, there is no need for such grand titles amongst us." Arabella wonders aloud.

"I betrayed you, Arabella, and thus I can no longer hold a position close to you that you trust. Please give me your permission to go and you shall have Mary to protect you and keep your secrets." Beatrice answers with a slight quiver.

"What did you do?" Mary sharply asks.

Beatrice's eyes drop to the floor at her feet. "I caused Hunter North's death." She confesses. The air inside the room thickens as the three women stare at each other. "He is dead because of me. I need my family, I must return home." She implores of Arabella.

"What do you mean exactly when you say that you caused Hunter North's death? Are you one of the rebels, were you passing information along?" Arabella quickly interrogates.