Survivor

Chapter 45

Garrus
Garrus ran a hand over his fringe as he blew out a breath, shooting a glare at a C-Sec officer that seemed to be headed his way. The officer locked eyes with him and changed direction, moving right past Garrus' desk.
He relaxed back into the seat and closed his eyes.
It was hard for him to be home when the house was so quiet without Samantha, but he couldn't quite concentrate enough on work.
Luckily, Bailey seemed to understand this and left him alone to do his work at his own pace.
The ringers went off, alerting the mark of a shift change. Garrus stood and made his way out along with about seven of his colleagues.
He was anxious to get home this time, since he knew Samantha was supposed to be able to make a vid call to him, even if it may be short.
He got into the Skycar and set it for autopilot to the apartments while he browsed his Omni-Tool for the millionth time with the news on Earth.
There were a few repairs going on, but the media was more focused on an attack on a sleeping barracks for repairmen working on other projects.
It was his main focus as well, since they had already reported that Samantha was heading the search and rescue team to extract any remaining survivors.
Garrus found comfort in the fact that Hackett had so far been right about Sam not having a need to be in an offensive role like she was before. They just needed her experience in the Alliance Navy to come to use again.
Garrus frowned at the thought of her having to be back in as the Skycar arrived at the apartments and he payed the fare before he climbed out.
As he walked through the lobby, he waved a greeting at the desk clerk, who smiled and nodded his head at him.
Garrus punched in the password to the elevator and waited as it hummed it's way to their floor.
Loneliness hit him again as the doors opened and he walked to the door of their apartment and opened it, stepping into the quiet hallway for what seemed like the millionth time.
Somehow, it almost seemed harder to not know where she was and if she was okay than it was when she was dead. The pain of her death still stabbed him, though. Maybe harder now than ever before.
It felt like he had started a life without her, was moving on in life without her, letting her memory fade away.
Garrus had to remind himself that she was only on Earth, helping others as she always had before.
The first time she had died, he had been able to bury himself in work he know would bury him one day.
He used the grief for what he saw as good. Then his girl came charging down that bridge right for him, intent on dragging his ass out even when she didn't know it was him.
Though at the time he had preferred to think she knew it was him.
Then they lost her to the beam, after he had been able to have her the way he had always wanted. To love, to help, to hold.
It had shattered his heart. He hadn't been able to help but to yell at Joker for leaving Samantha.
He knew that Joker had already been plagued by guilt, had been protesting leaving as long as possible, but he still couldn't help himself but to tear him a new one.
He stood there yelling at Joker until James and Kaidan hauled him back down to the main battery.
There, once left alone, Garrus swiped his arm across his careful setting of gun parts and ongoing calibration projects and slammed his fist into the crate top.
It wasn't too much longer after that for him to find himself on the floor with his head in his hands, not knowing whether to scream his grief or accept the tears his people had raised him to believe were shameful.
He eventually chose a cross between both, tiring himself until he was a heap on the floor. Not quite asleep, but not quite aware either.
Several crew mates had peeked in to check on him, but he couldn't bring himself to acknowledge them.
It took Liara bringing him to his senses.
"She wouldn't want to see you like this," she had murmured, sitting cross legged next to him.
"She would want you to move on. To be happy. You and I both know this is true. She was always very adamant about you being happy. Why would that change in death?"
He had turned his gaze away from Liara. Partially because he didn't want to hear it, but partially because he knew she was right.
"Do something better with your life, Garrus. She's still with you. Just not in the way you had hoped she would be. She always returns to you. I'm sure her spirit is here now urging you on."
He hated to admit it but at that point he had started to realize she was right.
Samantha wouldn't want him to suffer. She would want him to move on and make a new happiness for himself.
So when Liara came the next time, he was ready to begin to face the world.
She helped him gather his things and Joker flew them back to Earth, where he had joined the repair effort teams, specializing in defense systems and some of the tools used in repairs.
  It had helped him to have a purpose and keep his mind off of the loss of Samantha, without getting himself killed.
  Now, he sat on the couch watching his Omni-Tool for her call letting him know everything was alright.
  At least, he hoped it was. Garrus couldn't help but worry otherwise.
  Finally, the alert he had been waiting for came and he couldn't answer fast enough for his own liking.
  Samantha's voice came through while the video loaded. "Hello?"
  "Hey Sam," Garrus said, relief obvious in his voice.
  "Hey Garrus," she replied, sounding a bit tired but otherwise relieved as well.
  Her face appeared on the screen. A smiling, tired, but happy Samantha... With a black eye.
  Garrus tensed and narrowed his eyes. "Who did that to you? What happened?"
  Samantha reached up and touched her eye before she shrugged. "It's nothing, just had something to sort out is all."
  "Sam..."
  She held up her hands and laughed. "You should see the other guy."
  Garrus sighed and shook his head. "You're never going to let me stop worrying, are you?"
  "It keeps things interesting," she said with a smirk.
  Garrus chuckled. "That's your excuse for every time there's trouble."
  "I don't hear you making any denials of it being true, though..."
  "How are things over there?" Garrus asked, suddenly serious.
  Samantha sighed. "It's a long process but there's progress being made finally. Just, it seems like every time we take a step forward, these radicals keep knocking us back a step or two."
  "It'll get better, Sam. Just let the Alliance Intelligence do their job and pass it on. You do yours. Nothing more."
  Samantha looked unhappy at the idea, but she nodded nonetheless. "Okay. I will."
  "Good. I expect to see you in five days. I hope there's nothing more than that black eye and a couple minor bruises from rescue work. Anything else and we'll be having problems."
  Samantha chuckled and shook her head. "So strict and worrisome... Fine, I'll do my best to keep the trouble to a minimum."
  Garrus chuckled. "Please do. I know it follows you around but do try."
  "Smartass," Samantha grumbled at him, faking a pout.
  Garrus couldn't help but smile at her. It made him happy to know she was okay and in decent spirits.
  "Hey, I've gotta go," she sighed. "I don't think I'll be able to chat again this deployment, but I'll see you in five days, okay? Meet me at the docking bay?"
  Garrus smiled. "You know I'll be there before you are. I'll always be waiting for you."
  Samantha smiled back. "And I'll always wait for you. I love you. I'll see you in five."
  "I love you too. See you then, Sam."
  She gave him a two fingered salute and a crooked smile before she disconnected, leaving Garrus wanting more time with her.
  He sighed and looked at the stairs.
  Another night alone.
  He knew it wouldn't be long before she was home and in his arms again, though.
  The thought made it easier for him to stand and make his way to bed.

  ((A/N: Hey guys! So I know it's kind of late in the day for the update! It's been a busy work week and pretty stressful past few days. Anyways, here it is! Hope you like it! Leave me a vote and comment if you do! Thanks!! Keelah Se'lai!))