He's the one

Ch.21~I just want to die

So last Thursday which was the 20th, (of march) finally told toad how I felt but, by note. I wrote a note that had my feelings shortened and I got to the point, in the letter I told him to be honest with me......

That's exactly what he did....

The next day I asked his "brother" (buddy, me and his buddy Sione are close like that as friends) to tell me what he says, this was right in the morning. He told me that Francisco said he was going to write me a note in class.

Ashley our friend gave me a note that said he doesn't want to go out with me cuz he doesn't like anyone right now and he told Ashley to tell me cuz he didn't want to hurt me (well it kinda still hurts both ways so.... And I didn't even put in the letter that I wanted to go out with him so yea)

And she also called him a name.... I don't really want to write it here cause i just don't really wanna type it cause its awkward. And ever since then we barely talked that whole week, in fact he didn't even say anything to me the next week except "I didn't get one" (I was collecting papers).

We had science that day ( Friday) and I didn't want to stay cause we sit right infront of each other and it would be awkward, so I kinda acted like I had a stomach ache even tho my stomach was turning.

I went home and I like ate a little cause I left when it was lunch time, and then I listened to sad songs. I just had to cry, I cried so much. It hurt so much that I cut myself several times. I still have scars now its 4/3/14

And we still rarely talk but only about work, we don't laugh anymore. And it's awkward sometimes cause we have to do work together most times and we are hella close and I feel like he's looking at me sometimes.

And I'm so confused sometimes, like I said I didn't like him anymore, but I just can't stop liking him cause then i'll start cutting. Why does life. Have to be so complicated???

I'm so sorry I haven't updated it cause this has all happened and I didn't really have anything else to put here except this and yea.

Thx soooo much for 408 reads omg I cants believe 408 people read what I write amazed rn

Bye 👋✌