troye sivan imagines y/n

im not sure.

for a long time, writing was always a creative outlet. if i was upset i could start writing about someone else's story. or a made up one. which gave me time to not be in my own mess of a life for a while. i'm gonna get personal w u guys for a minute.

a while ago, i went through a "breakup". we weren't officially dating but we had been talking for almost 6 months and i cared a while fucking lot. then one day he changed. his feels along with that. and there wasn't anything i could do. for the first few days following, i was a wreck. i barely ate and if i did it was just ben and jerrys ice cream. i had so many people there for me, yet the only person i wanted to talk to was him.

i didn't know what to do, or what to say. if i should text him and tell him that i cared and he should know that. or if i should let him be. let him eventually come to realize just how much he meant to me.

it's about a month later, quick i know, and i met someone. he is sweeter than any of my exes ever were. he makes me feel so beautiful and so perfect. but after what happened 30 days ago, i don't know how to trust. trust him, trust what he says, or his actions. i want too. oh how i want too. but it's so hard.

i can't read his mind i don't know what he is thinking. if i get a single one word text, my brain starts spiraling and worrying that i'll wake up the next morning and he won't feel the same. or he found someone better.truth is, there is always someone "better." but idk anyone that could care as much as i do for this boy.

i want to hate my ex. the one who broke me. i want too. a few days after we were over i tried writing about it, and i couldn't finish it because when i compiled together how good things were when they first started out, and then to where they ended. god it hurt like hell.

but it's so hard to hate someone who made you happy for so long. or at least i thought i was happy. was i? i'm not sure.

i thought he treated me good. and maybe at first he did. but as time went on, we grew apart and i was blindsided. now, with the boy i'm with today, i realize that with him, i deserved so much better. and i finally feel happy. scared for the future, but happy.

also thank you guys so much for letting this be a place where i can rant and be myself and write. if you don't like these type of personal emotional parts there won't be any more lol so no worries. i love you and whatever you're going through will work itself out. keep your head up.