The Truth

Human

"Hello?" An unfamiliar voice asked on the other line, I wasn't sure but I had a sick feeling who it was. "Hello?" The woman's voice asked, I wasn't sure if I should've just left it or answered but I went with option B.

"Hello" I stuttered,

"I'm not sure if you know me or not but are you in a situation to talk?" She questioned, I could hear the hope in her voice. Did Grandma give her my number?

I stayed completely silent, my mind had gone completely blank, if I was right and the person on the other line was who I thought it was than I could have my chance! I could figure out more about my early childhood. "Hey Nessa? You alright?" Jake whispered concerned, "Do you feel ok? you look kinda pale" He informed me. I hung up the phone and felt my mouth become dry, "Nessa?" Jake questioned concerned, "Who was it on the phone?" I slowly got up, gathered my stuff and left the cafeteria, I sprinted out to my car and slammed my door shut. I was on the verge of screaming when Jake knocked on my window, he hopped in the passenger side and made himself comfortable. "What's wrong?" He asked worriedly.

I stayed silent, all I wanted, needed right now was alone time, "Jake, please, just leave me alone" I whispered trying my hardest to hold back the tears.

"No! Nessa you showed me a side of you the other night that changed my whole perspective on life! I know now that you have deep shit going on in your life and you need to learn to stop bottling it up! The other night is a pure example of what I mean, I'm saying this for your mental wellness, can I please bring you to the counselor?" He shouted apologetically.

"The school counselor is a pile of shit, he didn't help me with anything!" I whispered as tears began to pour out of my eyes, "My life is shit and it's been left for too long to fix" I sobbed. "You can try and help me Jake but I can assure you it's not gonna work, I couldn't be more thankful for the other night when you saved me but that was luck. I am unfixable!" I cried, "People have tried helping me, trust me they have and not one person has made me feel like a human being. Jake my whole life has been a lie, I don't know who I am... I had my chance to find out but I blew it, I'm living but I don't have a life" I sobbed. The car was quiet except for the sound of my crying on top of my the steering wheel.

"It's ok Nessa" he soothed, "I will help you, if you let me. I wanna be the one who makes you feel human, maybe not myself but I will find someone or something that will, the only thing in the world that I want right now is for you to be happy. You think the other night was luck but I think it was fate which is cheesy as fuck but it's true" He laughed which made me giggle. "You can't have a life if you don't live it" He assured me.

I'm not sure how long we spent just sitting in my car being completely silent but it was long enough, my phone rang so I picked it up. It was Karen, I thought I had blocked her but obviously not! She was reminding me to come straight home after school and not dare ditch, as per usual I bluntly replied and mumbled. Jake left the car at one point cause he had basketball practise, he asked if I wanted to come but sports was the last thing I wanted to watch at this moment. As soon as he was out of sight I grabbed my bag and pulled out my diary which I knew would come in handy.

So I know this book is a pile of shit and this book also knows it's a pile of shit just holding my pointless thoughts. Today was yet another absolutely terrible day! I can't even get the words out of my mouth yet alone write them down! I received a phone call mid way through lunch today and it mentally messed with me, the drama going on in my life at the moment didn't help whatsoever. The voice on the other line wasn't familiar, I'm pretty sure I'd never heard it before in my life but I knew who it was. The thing that's messing with me so much is how the heck did she get my number? Was it Grandma cause it couldn't have been anyone else. She wanted to talk but I wasn't ready... I couldn't just casually talk to my birth mother who I've probably only seen once in the middle of the school cafeteria! Who does she think she is? Calling me up and expecting a warm welcome? Well let me tell you... well diary that I ain't having anything to do with that lady! I don't want any family! I just want to be happy for once, once in my shitty life I want to feel pure happiness.

I hadn't realized the drops of tears slowly dripping onto my notebook, smudging my newly written entry.

Sorry for the previous cliffhanger and the long wait and now the short chapterXD Don't worry though I have a lot planned for this book <3