Idris

0.15

♤

Events of last night played on Idris's mind as he laid on the scratchy grass in guilt. He wasn't prepared for what happened.

He didn't even think he saw Carson in a romantic way, If anything he actually did see her as his best friend.

He turned his head to see Carson laying next to him, her eyes shut and a small smile playing on her swollen lips. He couldn't help but wonder what she was dreaming about. The worse thing was, he actually really enjoyed last night and that terrified him to no end.

What would she think? What will happen now?

Letting out a groan he shook his head, drinking was the worse idea Carson ever made. It lead to bad decisions, waking up to a blurred memory and a massive fucking headache.

Feeling her shift beside him, he looked down to see her eyes wide open.

Shit play cool. He thought.

He gave her a lazy smile and an awkward wave.

She immediately narrowed her eyes, her face showing no emotion as she scrambled to put her hoodie on.

He watched her cautiously not knowing what to say or do in this kind of situation since he'd never been in any situation like this.

"Fuck", she hissed, rubbing her temples as she briefly closed her eyes.

He grimaced at her horrible state knowing he didn't look so good either. Or felt good for that matter.

"So about last night?", he trailed scratching the back of his head, looking out across the lake.

He didn't have the nerve to look her in the eyes and see her regretful expression.

Hearing her sigh he finally looked over at her and frowned. Her face was set in a scowl glaring at him.

"That was your fault, I was in a vulnerable state and you took advantage of that. I was fucking drunk off my head", she defended, "Oh and I remember you asking me if I was sure about it, you should have stopped then", she scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest in defence.

"The fuck? You're blaming what happened last night on me? I was just as gone as you so don't put any of that shit on me Carson", he growled, "If anything you're the one that begged to get drunk", he seethed.

Idris couldn't believe her. To actually try and blame something that took two people to participate in was fucking delusional.

Carson stood there fuming, she was shaking with anger and embarrassment. Her head was cloudy and pounding from her hangover and to be honest she really couldn't remember a lot about last night. She remembered the juicy parts but other than that it was a blur.

She wasn't angry at Idris, she was more angry at herself for putting them in that kind of situation, not that she would ever tell him that. For now she was fine with blaming him since she wasn't in the mood to blame herself.

"It won't ever happen again, it meant nothing and it was just a stupid mistake", she clarified, "I don't even remember most of it", she laughed bitterly before grabbing her shoes and stalking off to his car.

Idris stood there in shock, did it actually mean nothing to her? Did she honestly see him as a mistake? And why the fuck was he taking this so personally? He never gave a fuck about girls before so why did his stomach drop when she said those words?

Storming towards the car, he fished out his keys and slipped into the drivers seat.

He felt pathetic for even thinking she would act differently. He was unlovable. He was bitter. He was a no one.

Why would she even like him?

"Idris I want you to drop me off at the next town", Carson spoke, her voice thick of emotions.

She stared down at her tangled fingers together.

"Why? You running from me now", he asked, turning to see her in tears.

He wanted to so badly grab her hand and say sorry but he couldn't.

"This just complicates things and I don't need more complication right now. I think it would be better if we went out seperate ways. We're both out of that god awful town so now you can go solo like you planned, without me", she whispered not daring to look him in the eyes.

"Are you serious? You're gonna let what happened last night ruin this", he asked waving his hand between them, "Ruin us", he said his voice shaking.

Carson blinked back the tears before she stared over at him. Her eyes showing nothing and he knew he lost her, her guard was back up, just like his were slowly rebuilding itself.

"You were just my ticket out of there Idris, you weren't anything special", she shrugged, her bottom lip trembling as she focused her gaze out the window.

Idris's whole body tensed up at her words and my god did they sting.

His heart felt like someone had ripped it out of his chest and stomped on it as if it was nothing.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he started the car and backed out of the parking lot.

Not another word was said.