fuck off cruel world

Hey guess what? Your author's a slut

Yup. For a really long time, I've gotten numerous comments about how I'm a slut, or slutty, or sleep around, or am pregnant. Oh and by the way, I'll be fourteen in August.
   Now before you get the wrong idea, I wouldn't count any of this as bullying, it was mostly just harmless teasing.
    Furthermore, I am making a statement before you today. I understand how a person becomes a slut.
    See, I think the common misconception is that sluts, or whores, or "loose" girls, have no feelings for anyone and will just do anything to get sex. Not true.
   Girls who quote unquote "sleep around", in my opinion, do not want every mildly attractive person they lay their eyes on. Instead, they have such strong feelings for something else, be it another person or something completely different, they need some kind of attention, some fleeting feeling of connection.
    Take an example. Say a woman marries a man she is head over heels in love with, a marine. Two years into the marriage he is deployed overseas.
   For a year and a half, the woman worries and thinks of nothing other than the love of her life, dodging bullets in some third world country.
    Then one day, when she's become almost sick with loneliness, she notices that the plumber she hired to fix her sink has her husbands eyes. 3 months later, she's slept with the plumber 5 times, the technician twice, and the neighbor at least a dozen.
    Did the woman grow bored or restless of her husband? Had she fallen out of love with him? Did she resent him for leaving her behind? No.
   No, she merely missed him. Sometimes when you want something so badly, you can pretend you have it, just to make the hurt go away for a little while. It's like that scene in glee, if you've ever watched that show, where Rachel makes out with Puck. It's strange at first, until you see that in her minds eye, she's pretending that Puck is Finn.
    My point is that while this woman was sleeping with the plumber, she wasn't thinking "this guy is so much better than my husband, I deserve this, I've tried to be faithful but it's just too hard, this is okay." What she was thinking was "I miss my husband. I love my husband. If he isn't holding me I think I'll actually die. This is my husband. This is the man I love."
    Sometimes, you need something so badly. You need to feel wanted, and cared for, and needed. So if you're feeling this way, and there's someone mildly attractive around and you're horny and you feel a slight sexual attraction to them, you cave.
    What's that? Are you shaking your head in disgust? I'm sure you are. But here's what you're forgetting. I know you're thinking that if you love one person, if you have feelings for them, you should always be faithful to them. You should always know where to draw the line, no matter how bad things get. But what your forgetting is the loneliness. Because sometimes the loneliness distorts that line, and you don't know when you've crossed it.
    For just a moment, you can close your eyes and pretend that the person that you're with is the person you wish you were with. And then that moment feels so good, but it's over too fast. So you keep on going after it, screwing a hundred different guys just for a few seconds of feeling. Of feeling a little less lonely.
    Now, would I ever cheat on my husband in the marines? No. Of course not. I'm not promoting cheating, it's wrong. I also don't sleep around, or at all, so I'm not promoting that either.
    All I'm saying is that I can see what could lead someone to do it. I can see being in a position where a lapse of judgement on my part due to loneliness could lead me to do something like that. I'm sure that it will, at some point. So if that makes me a slut, or a whore, or whatever you want to call it, fine. Maybe that isn't such a bad thing.
    If you're still shaking your head in disgust, whatever. I'm sorry that we don't see eye to eye on this, you have the right to your opinion. I'm not going to keep arguing.
    It's late, and I'm tired.