113. A small price to pay

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My pain feels like bones breaking,
Day after day.
I feel so stressed and tired,
that my hair may turn gray.
I keep on crying,
like an old tissue tatty and wear.
What if I don’t get better,
That is my biggest fear.
I feel so dizzy, like I might fall down,
but no matter what my family has been around.
However lately I feel like I might give up,
as I have so many pills that they could fill up a cup.
This year hasn’t been so great for me,
and not for a lot of my family.
My grandma is forgetting simple things,
like who she is and what she brings.
My uncle and best friend have cancer,
I wish somehow that they will both find the answer.
These horrible things are making me mad,
I love them so much it makes me sad.
Believe me I’m not trying to make it all about me,
I just don’t know the last time my pain was a three.
All I’ve been getting is nines and nines,
there’s no way this pain is in my mind.
Without god I would not be here,
he saved my life this year.
The pain is only a small price to pay,
as I wish to walk with my lord someday.

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