Jimmy Page #7

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Nobody's Fault But Mine

Pangbourne,England,1971


"It's gonna be okay...I promise." Jimmy comforted me. I felt horrible. My body had betrayed me, Jimmy and I were so excited for a new baby...and it didn't work out. "Jimmy...I'm sorry." I sniffled. "Allison,you have nothing to be sorry about. You couldn't control what happened." "I-I just can't help but feel awful. You were so excited and-" "No,no,no. I'm not mad at you. You're the one who should be upset with me." "W-what?" "I'm supposed to be your protector...and I could have prevented this." The doctor informed us a main factor in my miscarriage was too much stress on my body. I understand why Jimmy might feel that way...but not really. "No you couldn't have,I could have. I shouldn't have been so stressed out." "Don't blame yourself Alli," Jimmy sighed,"Neither of us could. What happened, happened. And it's going to be okay. It wasn't your fault,nor was it mine. Things like this happen all the time. And hey,we can try again." Jimmy rubbed my back,trying to comfort me. He mentioned him being my protector,and it was true. Jimmy had always made sure I wasn't in danger,and if I was he was right at my side. And took that position for Scarlet as soon as we found out about her existence. "Momma, daddy..." Scarlet rubbed her eye,slowly making her way to the foot of our bed. "Scarlet,baby,it's past your bedtime." We hadn't even told her of the baby yet,so she didn't understand. She wouldn't anyway,but when she's older we'll tell her. Maybe when she starts having children herself,she'll understand what i'm going through now. When I had snapped out of my thoughts, Jimmy was carting her off, back to bed. When he came back we laid in bed,and he held me. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "There's nothing to be sorry about. We can try again." I was silent,listening to him breathe. I didn't want to be pregnant again,I was terrified. I didn't want to lose another baby. I didn't want to disappoint him again,or put either of us through that again.

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