S T I T C H E S | Grey's Anatomy

VI

The doctor asked me to leave her alone with Meredith so I left the room, Alex was there and he  saw me outside so , he decided to come with me

-" Hey, how's Mer? I couldn't go to see her"- I heard his voice far away, I kept thinking about what my wife just told me -" Derek? "-  

-"He raped her "- I said without thinking, he just looked at me surprised, it was noticeable that he was angry

-"Damn it."- He looked in the direction of her room, Dr. Wilkenson was talking animatedly while Meredith merely replied -" if I only had stayed with her ... "-
 -" what did you say? "-
 -" I looked at them, they went to his sister's room, she looked nervous but I left because they had called me from the ER "- he was angry with himself, and I understood because the same thing had happened to me, I was going to go to look for her but they also called me from the ER --"We should have stayed with her"- I whispered as I looked in the same direction as Alex, but before some time he had to go. The doctor was there for almost an hour and a half until she finally left the room, I went straight to her as soon as I saw her leave, she had some papers in her hands and she looked at me with ... sadness? empathy? I don't know

-" How is she? What did she say? "-

"-We should sit down" - oh no, this was serious -" Derek , before anything else I want to tell you that Meredith is very depressed, even before all this happened, but now with all this situation her emotional state is very very delicate, Dr. Nelson told me that her emotions are affected by surgery, because maybe her personality has changed but as you know we need time to know for sure if that happened to her "- I just nodded -" now, she told me as far as she could about what had happened and she is clearly going through a PTSD situation "- I look at my wife and she just looked out the window, she didn't want to know anything about the world -" during the talk there were  moments when she remembered certain scenes of what had happened. For the moment the only thing we can do is give her some therapy, to overcome this trauma, regarding the side effects of the surgery ..."-

 -" I know "- I interrupted her-" there's nothing we can do - I said with sadness

-"I'm so sorry Derek"-

                                                                            *Meredith* 

PTSD ... ha, fuck you PTSD. This was stupid, this was all stupid. Derek walked into the room, did not want to see me like this, did not want to feel sorry for me, so I just look out the window but Derek closed the blinds

 -" what the hell...?"-

 -" you can not just look at the window, Mer "- he looked tired, surely had not slept at all -" Dr. Wilkenson told me that ..."-

- "Whatever that witch told you is a lie"- I interrupted.

-" No, it's not a lie. And you don't have to be ashamed of it, the PTSD is nothing to be ashamed of"- I laughed a little and that made him confused -" what?"-

 -" Damn it, don't give me sermons, okay? PTSD!" - my laughter was crazy, the nurses were just terrified -" The PTDS doesn't let me sleep, I cannot think,I just close my eyes and I see him there, I see him there and everything comes back Derek! I'm not ashamed I'm angry!" - he was sad and I didn't know why but it was until that moment that I reacted, this wasn't me -" oh my God ..." - I whisper -" this, this is for the surgery, isn't it? "- he sighed as he sat next to me -" no, I don't know what happens to me ... I'm just angry, with everything. And if I'm not angry I'm sad, I ... "-I broke. The tears began to come out - Derek ... - he took my hand  

- it's okay, we are okay. You are going to be okay, I promise-  just cried, I don't wanna be angry all the time, I can't.

- "What are you going to do with me? "- I asked very frightened, I knew this would not end well

-"Oh, we're going to have a lot of fun, honey"- he replied, laughing as he unzipped his pants. He took me by the shoulders and he climbed on the bed -" you'll like it, little girl "- I started to beat him as I could but he was stronger than me and fear didn't do me any favor.

-" please no, enough, please ... "- he just touched me,I felt how he entered my just as my tears came together with a cry

-" Shut up, stupid!" - I felt a strong blow on my temple, it did'n't leave me unconscious but I was paralyzed, I just felt how he was coming in and out of me.

- Meredith? 

  My eyes opened but I couldn't know where I was, everything was the same, I was on the hospital bed, there was a man next to me, he was here.

-"No please, don't touch me, don't touch me! - I did'nt want to be touched again soI start throwing punches

-" Meredith, easy, it's me!" -

-" Let me go! Let me go, you fucking bastard! Let me go! "- no matter how much I asked him I felt his hands on my body until everything turned black, I stop feeling him.