S T I T C H E S | Grey's Anatomy

XIV

36 hours.
36 damn  and long hours.
I'm going to be here for 36 hours.
It wasn't my plan to have an overdose, I didn't want Alex to find me like that and of course much less Derek.
Derek, the disappointment I saw in his eyes broke my soul. I returned to feel that look, that look you give to your favorite toy when it breaks.
I'm broken.
The nurses released my hands and left my room.
During all this time in the hospital I had never gone to psychiatry, it looked depressing. It was just me, my bed, the window and a little TV, all wrapped in a depressing gray rat on the walls.
I got out of bed and went to the door, this had a small window, I couldn't open it but I could see the hallway, but there was nobody there. I sat down in my bed again, these would be a long and painful 36 hours.

Boredom was killing me, I was beginning to feel the first effects of detox: fever.
- "Hello!? Nurse?!" - I wait for someone to come but no one did - "damn! I have fever!" - I take the little control of the TV and throw it to the door but still no one came.

During my internship I had seen several drunks pass detox in the ER and always thought they were devils, but now I was in their position and this wasn't at all pleasant.
I had reached this room in the morning and it was already dark, and no one  had come to see me.
-"Damn it motherfuckers! I'm hungry, damn it! Damn it!" - I was angry, I felt again when I woke up from my surgery, I was angry with the world.
I knew what will follow after this fever, could have anxiety attacks, itching in the whole body to the point of wanting to take it away from me, maybe some allusination or if I could sleep:nightmares.
As I say, this was not at all pleasant.

I was staring at the roof , just trying to concentrate on the damn white roof.
No one was going to come no matter what I called them, during the detox no one can come so I decided to resign myself and just look at the white  roof.
But my peace of mind didn't last any longer because I started to hear knocks on the door, they were very light, I could barely hear them, maybe it was a nurse making sure everything was fine, but it wasn't like that.
The door opened suddenly and I look who was there
- "no ... no, stay away from me!" -
- "did you missed me?" - the man who had ruined my life was here - "I told you to hide,love  "- his voice, his damn voice was driving me mad - "let's have some fun ..." - fear invaded me again, I couldn't move, I couldn't scream, I just knew he was here, he had found me.

Derek

-"As you know, the defox is not an easy thing for the  patient so don't worry if she doesn't want to talk to you or something like that" - the head of psychiatry took me to Meredith's room - "have any questions Dr. Shepherd?" - I shake my head - "well, one more thing. At dawn, Meredith began to have allusions, it was very normal and we had to give her a sedative because she was starting to hurt herself."- She hurt herself, she opened the door and there was Mer, tied to the bed as if she were really crazy, she just stared at the roof but when she saw me her eyes glittered.
- "Der ..." - her voice was hoarse, I suppose she had shouted during her hallucination
- "hey, I'm here, calm down " - she had dark circles under her beautiful eyes that were now red, the doctor had told me that Meredith was hurting herself and it was true, her face and arms had several scratches some deeper than others , I look at her right arm and I could see the small bruises and I felt the biggest pain I've ever felt in my heart, I hated myself. How could it be possible that again I hadn't been able to see that something was wrong with my wife?!
- "Derek ... I don't want to be here" - her voice broke more and more - "he found me Derek ... He's found me " - tears started to come out of her eyes
- "no honey, he didn't found you. You're fine" - but she still kept crying, whispering that he had found her. It was obvious that she was still shocked by the hallucinations and the sedative was still in her system, I knew that I couldn't get her out of that thoughts so I just lay with her, I was there for her.
I will be there for her, always.

Hallo, I'm back.
I know that the one in the picture isn't Derek, but let's just imagine that's him.
Love u all, xoxo.