trouble | dominic sherwood

xxix. like mother like daughter

[ SOMEWHAT TRIGGER WARNING ]

"Tara?"

"Hey, Mom."

"You never call me. What's going on?"

"There's some stuff we need to talk about?"

"Ooookay. Can it wait? I've got plans with Marcie today."

"Put your life on pause for ten fucking minutes, mother. This is part of our problem right here."

"Language, Tara."

"Who is that?"

"Mom, this is Dr. Tate, my therapist. Dr. Tate, this is my mother. Lori Sparks."

"A therapist? Really, Tara? Think of how that will reflect on me if it gets out to the media."

"Probably not as badly as what I'm about to tell you is."

"What is your problem? Why are you being so dramatic lately?"

"You know how that guy was arrested at the after party for attempting to rape a girl?"

"Yes."

"I was that girl, Mom."

"Use the words, Tara."

"I was... almost raped. I was drugged and assaulted, but no one stopped him from leading me out of the room because of my reputation. And so he got me alone and he tried to take advantage of me."

"What are you talking about?"

"You didn't even notice I was missing, did you? But there was a lot about my life you've missed, so I guess it doesn't really surprise me all that much. I just... I needed to say the words out loud and Dr. Tate agreed that telling you was the best idea. So now, I'm going to go back to my session and learn about all the ways I can keep myself from doing drugs and prove that I don't need to rely on you like I thought I had to, that I'm independent and responsible and I can move past this."

"I'm sorry I didn't know. I wish I had known, I would have... I would have held your hand like no one held mine."

"What?"

"That's why your father... that's why it was just me, Tara. I was raped when I was sixteen and you were the result, but I couldn't get an abortion. I was pro-life at that time. And I couldn't send my baby to an orphanage. So I kept you. And you were a reminder of that night, the night the cop told me that I was lucky someone had wanted to have sex with me and that I should just go home."

"Mom..."

"I'm sorry for abandoning you."

"I'm sorry for always disappointing you."

"You never really did. But I will work on being a better mother to you, okay?"

"And I'll work on being a better daughter. Like mother like daughter, huh?"

"No, you're much stronger than I am. You're seeking help and you made sure your abuser went away for a long time. I let mine roam free because that first cop didn't take me seriously. Maybe the next one would have, but I didn't try to take it farther. I just... let it go."

"It was different back then."

"I know. But still."

"Yeah."

"Your time is almost over. I just want you guys to know how much of a break through that really was. And hopefully you'll continue to be able to talk like that, without me sitting her listening in."

"I really hope so."

"Me too. You have plans with Marcie, right?"

"Yeah."

"Go. And tell her I say hi."

"Thank you, Tara. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, Mom."

•••

a thanksgiving update for y'all

[ 11.23.17 ]