devil may cry | the weeknd

ten

Kaia

"Excuse me, Miss," the doctor says, causing my head to whip up. "You can see your boyfriend now."

"Thank you," I say, rushing towards the room.

Heart thunping, I push open the door. The breath catches in my throat when I see Abel lying down, eyes closed.

He opens his eyes slowly as I start walking towards him. "Hey, baby," he whispers.

I don't say anything because I'm too scared that if I do, I'll break down crying.

After all, I could've lost him today - the love of my life, the father of my child.

I don't understand how he could do that. Or why?

I sit down on the edge of the bed and Abel shifts, so that I have more space.

I study his face. Even though he looks so tired and lost, he still manages to look good.

Abel licks his lips and slowly moves his hand towards mine. His eyes flicker from my hand to my eyes to see if I'm okay with him holding my hand.

When he sees that I don't mind, he takes my hand in his and squeezes.

I look at our hands to his face and bite my lip, feeling the tears starting to run down my cheeks. "Why did you do it?" I ask in a quiet voice.

Abel takes a deep breath in before speaking. "I just felt like I didn't want to live anymore," he tells me, which makes a cold chill run down my body. "And I thought you wouldn't care . . ." He trails off and looks down at our hands. "You did leave me."

A rush of anger and frustration rushes through me at the sound of his words. "I left because I want to have this baby and you don't!" I snap, causing him to flinch a little. "I do care about you, Abel! I always will! How can you even say that? How can you say that I don't care?" I wipe away at the tears aggressively with the back of my free hand. "You're so selfish! You're so selfish for doing this! You were seriously going to kill yourself and leave me . . .?" I trail off, starting to sob uncontrollably.

Abel leans forward and cradles my face. "I'm sorry!" he exclaims. "I wasn't thinking!"

I push Abel away from me, hard. Normally, he'd get angry if I shove him away from me, but this time, he just looks hurt and broken. Defeated.

I glare at him through my tears. "You were thinking, Abel!" I snap. "You knew exactly what you were doing, even if you were high or drunk. I just can't believe you'd do that to me."

Abel grabs my face and makes me stare at him through my blurry vision. "I'm sorry!" he pleads. "Please, forgive me! I promise I won't do anything like that again!"

"Your promises never mean anything, Abel!" I snap, sniffing. "Never!"

"They do this time!" Abel tells me, eyes wide and pleading.

I bite my lip at the sight of him. This is the first time that I've ever seen him like this - vulnerable.

Tears start to run down his cheeks and I suck in my breath. I quickly look away, knowing that the sight of him crying will make me cry.

"I have to go," I mumble, starting to get up and put my bag around my shoulder.

"No, wait!" Abel protests,  grabbing my arm. "Just stay with me. Please." The last word comes out as a strangled cry and I look at Abel, feeling my heart sink to the floor.

"I can't see you like this," I admit.

Abel wipes away the tears from his face and blinks at me. "And I can't bare to watch you walk away from me again," he whispers, gripping my arm tighter.

I let Abel pull me towards him. He wraps his arms around my body and rests his head against my stomach. He starts to cry and I feel his whole body shaking against mine as he cries into my stomach.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull him closer and rest my chin on his head. I can feel the fabric of my top dampening from his tears.

Closing my eyes, I rake my fingers through his puffy hair and kiss the top of his head.

"I love you," Abel tells me, pulling away and looking up at me.

I wipe the tears away from his face and smile at him. "I love you too," I whisper. "And I'm not going anywhere."

"So you're coming back to the house with me?" Abel questions, eyes brightening.

I bite my tongue and shake my head slowly and Abel untangles himself away from me and leans back against the hospital bed again, looking sad.

"Would you want to come back to the house with me?" Abel wants to know, playing with his fingers. He tears his gaze away from his fingers to look at me with tired eyes.

"I don't know," I admit, sitting back down on the edge of the bed. "I need space and time to think."

"Okay," Abel says in a quiet voice, not looking me in the eye.

I grab his hand and squeeze it, making him look up at me. "You have to understand my side of things, Abel," I tell him softly. "I'm having a baby - your baby - that you don't want. I can't just come back to the house and pretend like everything's normal." I sigh heavily and run my fingers through my hair.

"Everything would go back to normal if you just aborted it!" Abel exclaims.

My eyes flash with anger and I let go of his hand. "How many times do I have to tell you?" I spit. "Stop calling our child it! You know what? I'm not coming back to the house with you - ever. Because I know that if I have this baby, you'll look at it with so much hate. I don't want my child going through that."

"Kaia -" Abel starts to say but I cut him off.

"No!" I snap. "I don't understand, Abel! You'd actually want your child to have the same childhood you had? Without a father? You're even more fucked up than I thought!"

Abel chews his lip and looks straight ahead at the wall, thinking to himself. "You're right," he says after a long time. "I am fucked up." He runs a hand over his face and breathes heavily. "Fuck." He looks at me and starts shaking his head. "I don't want my child to grow up without a father, like how I did."

I frown. "So what are you saying?" I want to know.

"I'll try," Abel whispers. "I'll try and do this - having a kid, being a father."

A small smile spreads across my lips. "Really?" I ask.

Abel nods, smiling. "Really," he tells me.