devil may cry | the weeknd

twenty four

Abel

I wake up to a throbbing in my length.

I hate when this happens, especially because Kaia is asleep half the time and I don't want to wake her, just to fulfil my own selfish desires.

This time's different though - I need her. Like really need her. I can't sort this out myself.

I twist my head and find her sleeping, her dark hair sprawled around the pillow. "Kaia," I whisper, shaking her gently.

She shifts around and turns her face the other way, her hand resting against my bandaged arm.

I groan loudly. "Shit," I curse to myself, the throbbing becoming even worse.

Looks like I'll have to sort this shit out myself.

I pull down my sweatpants and boxers and grab Kaia's hand. I place it around my member and put my hand over Kaia's, guiding it up and down my length.

I close my eyes, imagining that she's the one that's doing this to me and not me guiding her floppy hand.

My hand movements become faster and I grunt lowly. "Fuck," I mutter, feeling myself starting to reach my peak after a couple of minutes. "Kaia. Fuck."

Kaia's hand grips around my length and she stirs beside me. "Abel?" she says sleepily. She turns to look at me and notices what I'm doing.

Pushing her hair out of her face, Kaia moves down into the covers and I grunt when I feel her flicking her tongue around my length.

I grip her hair under the sheets and push it out her face to stop it from falling around her.

Kaia looks up at me from under the sheets, a smirk on her face. She pulls away and wipes her mouth after I shoot straight in her mouth.

She yawns and rests her head against my chest. "That wasn't how I pictured waking up," she chuckles.

"I know, I'm sorry, baby," I say, raking a hand through her hair. "I couldn't help myself."

Kaia smiles and kisses my chest. Her eyes fall on my bandaged arm and she touches it. "Promise me you'll never do something like this again," she whispers. She turns to look at me with watery eyes. "I know you think that you deserve it or whatever, but you don't."

I nod silently, not wanting to argue with her or make her any more upset than what I've made her already.

I cradle her face. "I won't," I tell her.

Kaia shakes her head. "No!' she snaps. "I need you to promise!"

"I promise," I tell her and she nods and relaxes against my chest again, her hand trailing up and down.

I hold her closer against my body and let out a long sigh. "I wish we could just stay here forever," I murmur, thinking back to all the  bad things I've done and how I don't want to go hack to Los Angeles to deal with the shit I've done.

Kaia lifts her head from my chest and looks at me, eyebrows raised. "And who says we can't?" she asks with a smile.

I chuckle. "That little boy or girl inside you,," I answer, patting her stomach lightly.

Kaia giggles and rests her hand on her stomach, smiling to herself. "Do you think we'll be good parents?" she asks.

I tense up at the question, but then relax a couple of seconds later. I nod slowly. "Yeah," I say. "We will."

Kaia looks up at me for a long time. She stares at me for what seems like forever and I start shifting uncomfortably,  wondering what the hell she's thinking in that mind of hers.

Probably that you'll be a terrible father, the dark voice tells me in my head. Or even that this baby isn't even yours.

I block out the voice through the process of starting to hum to myself.

I don't know why I keep doubting Kaia, especially when she's told me over and over again that this baby is mine and not Lamar's.

It's just that fucking voice in my head, always telling me not to believe Kaia and not to trust her.

For some reason, I just can't kick the idea that Kaia cheated on me with Lamar out of my mind - it's not just the voice that is making me doubt her, but it's my own intuition too.

I want to be a father to this child, I want this child to be mine, but I just can't help but be paranoid.

Maybe I should do this paternity test? Without Kaia knowing of course, because I don't want her walking away from me, since I'm doubting her and her loyalty, even after all the times she's told me she's not a cheat.

"What are you thinking of, Abe?" Kaia asks now, bringing me back to reality.

"Huh?"

"I said, what are you thinking of?" Kaia repeats and then starts frowning. "Are you okay? You seem out of it."

I nod rapidly. "Yeah," I say. "Yeah, I'm fine."

The way I'm nodding probably makes me look like some kind of nutcase because Kaia squints at me and studies my face - a move that makes me feel conscious.

I stop nodding and shift around beneath her. "I'm taking you somewhere special tonight," I tell her now in an attempt to put off any more questions she has.

Kaia chuckles against my neck. "Is that so?" she asks and I nod. "What do you want me to wear?"

A bitter taste fills my mouth as I remember the argument we had yesterday about the revealing dress she was wearing.

I know I didn't have the right to say anything - since I was the one that bought the dress for her - but just the thought of other guys staring at her . . . it made me mad.

My controlling instinct and insecurities took over and I ended up being a fucking hypocrite in the whole situation.

I bite my lip now, feeling bad that Kaia is asking me what she should wear, when it's her own damn body. "Whatever you want to, baby," I tell her now in a hushed voice.

"I'd rather you tell me what to wear, I don't want you getting mad at me," Kaia says quietly. "I don't want to spoil whatever you have planned for tonight, like how I did yesterday . . ." She trails off and sighs, rolling off me and lying down beside me.

I turn my body to face her. I touch her cheek, stroking it. "I'm not going to get mad," I tell her honestly. "I'm sorry about yesterday, I shouldn't have acted like that - it was wrong of me to. I don't want to control you, Kaia, I just . . ." I trail off and huff to myself. "I don't know how to explain all of this."

Kaia touches my cheek. "It's okay," she whispers. "I understand - it's had for you to communicate how you feel, I get it."

I look into her eyes. "I really don't deserve you," I say sadly.

Kaia pecks my lips. "And I can say the same for you," she says. "Okay! This is getting a little too mushy!" She climbs on top of me, straddling me. "I say we -"

Before she can even finish off the sentence, I grab her and pin her down, climbing on top of her and sliding into her.