Coming Home

Chapter Thirty One: Eavesdropping

Blakes POV

"Where the hell is Emery?" Sarah excalims, it's been fifteen minutes since she went our for 'air'.

Kade looks towards the door as if willing her to apprear.

"I'm gonna go see whats keeping her." Sarah starts to stand when I intersept.

"No Sarah its okay, I'll go, sit, enjoy your night" I urge.

Both Kade and Linden look at me dumbstruck.

Everyone knows we have been fighting, we havent spoken more then two words to eachother in almost 3 weeks, unless we had to.

And its clear to everyone at school. Even when I do show up, the skillful way we avoid eachother hasn't gone un noticed.

After our kiss I knew I fuked up. I shouldn't have kissed her in the first place but to do it after I'd just slept with someone, is down right degrading.

Don't get me wrong if it was anyone else I wouldn't bat a eyelid but it wasn't just anyone it was Emery.

Knowing I hurt her, hurt me. How could I be so stupid. I knew my feelings for her could only end badly but things have turned out worse then I imagined.

Believe it or not I didnt get with Linden to spite her, in fact I didnt get with Linden altogether, she just started saying it and I didn't stop her.

But seeing your best friend and the girl you like, happy without you in there life is kinda crappy.

Knowing I hurt her and seeing her with Kade everyday just wasn't going to happen. Do you know what it's like seeing the girl you know you'll never have; becuase for one you don't deserve her and two there's no way she feels the same, Be happy in another guys arms.

Its torture.

So I stopped going to school.

Seeing me and Emery on the outs must have kicked her up a notch because Linden was widely persistent, she text me 24 7, she started turning up whereever I was and one night I happened to be extremely drunk and easy to persuade. You can guess how that ended.

Thats all she needed to get her claws back in me. I mean shes hot, there's no denying it but I know shes a bitch, everyone does.

I didnt mean for it to happen but it turned out being a hell of a way to take my mined off of my worries.

The security of knowing where I stand and how I feel was to comfortable to fall back on. Just a fuck, no confusing emotions or feeling, just physical and uncomplicated.

Today at school seeing Emery with Farah and Kade at her locker laughing and smiling, just trigered something in me. I know I was in the worng and I caused all of this but how can she be so unaffected.

I know she hasn't been back that long but I already can't stand it with out her in my life. And that fucks me off. How can I be so lost without one person when I went 7 years being completely fine.

But even now I know thats a lie. I wasnt fine I was closed off. Cold I hadn't felt any emotions like this towards any girls. I shut it down girls were a means to an end for me. A physical relationship nothing I could get attached to and thats the way I liked it untill her.

Emery came back and boom I have feelings coming out my ass.

And it made me angry. For a split seccond I was pissed. How can she be fine when I'm so pent up.

I caught sight of Linden across the hall and strode towards her. Get me out of my head I thought before I crahed my lips on her. I don't care if Emery sees.